Awkward DJ Situation... Need input!

violinvixen0302

Hey everyone!

Alright, so... our wedding is May 28. We've been on the hunt for a DJ for a while. My best friend/MOH has given us the amazingly generous wedding gift of paying for our DJ. She has been doing most of the searching for DJs, and then the three of us have been taking meetings with DJs. Well, we had a meeting with one yesterday who seemed pretty great. He was amusing, upbeat, and seemed to understand our need for a DJ who was professional and not cheesy.

He sent over the contract, and we started moving forward with securing him. Then something awkward happened.

He sent my MOH a couple of very flirtatious text messages, and eventually asked her out. She has been dating one of our groomsmen for a year, so she turned him down. On the one hand, I find this situation hilarious. But, on the other hand... I also find it really unprofessional. It makes me very uncomfortable with him, and makes me doubt his professionalism. I mean... what's next? Is he going to be hitting on my other bridesmaids on the day of the wedding?

What do you guys think? Would you be weirded out? I know that it's not directly related to his abilities to be a good DJ, but doesn't it sort of call into question his judgment?

Let me know what you would do... I'm dying for input! Thanks!

jerseydevil

Is the DJ some one she already knows at all? That's pretty strange, I agree and I would be weirded out too, but if she at least knows him (even if it's through a friend of a friend) that makes it less weird.

If they're complete strangers, I think that is a little unprofessional, but strange things happen. How does she feel about the situation?

naomikb

Strange.

But if you liked him as a DJ and he seemed good to work with, I would stick with working with him.  If you're concerned you could always bring it up to him at your next meeting privately, that you expect professionalism at your wedding and minimal interaction with guests.

djsupermike

Although that is pretty funny, I would consider that unprofessional and unethical. If one of my employees did that, he would be searching for a new job.
I am the owner of Liquid Digital Entertainment and I would be happy to give you a quote. I am positive that you will find that we can offer you everything the other service was PLUS respect. If you would like to forward their quote I will be sure to match or beat their price.
You can reach me directly at 515-238-5772 or www.liquiddigitalentertainment.com

Thank you,
Mike

violinvixen0302

Hi again,

Thank you all for your responses. To answer the question about how they know each other: they don't know each other at all... not even a friend of a friend kind of a situation. He is a "professional" DJ who has his own entertainment company. They have spoken only a couple of times, and strictly about the wedding and setting up a meeting. That is why it is so bizarre... Their interactions have arisen solely out of a professional basis, and she has given him no indication that she would be interested in anything more than that.

She feels pretty weirded out about the situation. She knew that my fiance and I liked him, so she was hesitant to even tell me.

The thing is that we already explicitly stated that we are looking for a professional interaction at the wedding. We've both been to events where the DJ was very unprofessional, and so that is our primary concern. He assured us that he would be nothing BUT professional. How can I approach the topic again without flat-out saying, "Hey, hitting on anyone at or involved in the wedding is hideously inappropriate."? I feel like that kind of thing should go without saying!

Mike, thanks for reaching out. It looks like you're based in Iowa, though. We're in California! I appreciate your perspective as a DJ, though, and in assuring me that what he did was out of line.

Anyone else have thoughts? I feel like if we move forward with him, I should say something... but how can I do this tactfully and without making the next couple months of planning even more uncomfortable? Blah!

whereyat

"Mike," that's against The Knot Terms of Service which you agreed to when you signed up for the site. 

Can you imagine if The Knot LET people advertise on their site?? It would be filled with SPAM instead of actual discussions.  No one should know that you're a vendor if you're going to post on the Community boards.

Not only that, but you made yourself look dumb by advertising your services being in Iowa, when the OP is from CALIFORNIA. 

But don't worry, I reported you.

~~~~~~~~~~
OP: My advice is that you're too nice to vendors.  (See good ole' "Mike" here, and your DJ). 
If you want to keep this DJ: Call the DJ in a panic - "I just heard from my MOH that you were hitting on her! I don't know if we can use you anymore! Your behavior is going to ruin everything!!" Be very upset, pretending to be close to tears. (I normally do Not recommend this, but bear with me).  Hopefully he will be quite embarrassed and promise to not behave this way. 

He seems like the kind of person (just like "Mike!!") who doesn't get the hint unless you're very forceful/in his face.

Honestly if it were me, I would look for a new DJ and just straight-up tell him: "I don't feel comfortable working with you anymore given your unprofessional behavior towards my MOH.  Do you have anyone else you'd recommend?"

Again, I normally don't recommend being this forceful to vendors or people in general, but people like this usually can't take a "hint."

(P.S. I'm usually a lurker but couldn't stay silent on this one).

sister2groom

After you told him you wanted very professional behavior he did something very unprofessional. Even if he does back down if you bring it to his attention, what other instructions do you think he'll ignore?

courtney1188

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_awkward-dj-situation-need-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:90304df9-6a9a-45db-999a-0b0d30883821Post:1e82da80-62c7-41bf-8faf-dd84a9321901">Re: Awkward DJ Situation... Need input!</a>:
[QUOTE]After you told him you wanted very professional behavior he did something very unprofessional. Even if he does back down if you bring it to his attention, what other instructions do you think he'll ignore?
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

This. I would find another DJ.

Chasity08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_awkward-dj-situation-need-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:90304df9-6a9a-45db-999a-0b0d30883821Post:1e82da80-62c7-41bf-8faf-dd84a9321901">Re: Awkward DJ Situation... Need input!</a>:
[QUOTE]After you told him you wanted very professional behavior he did something very unprofessional. Even if he does back down if you bring it to his attention, what other instructions do you think he'll ignore?
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this. Definitely look for a new DJ.