Father/daughter and mother/daughter dance?

Mrs Littlefield

As I mentioned in my previous post my dad wasn't around much, well really not at all, when I was younger until I took it upon myself to stay in contact in go see him once I was old enough to understand. I love my dad, he was as good a dad as he knew how to be and though it wasn't the best at least I had the privelege of knowing my dad because some people do not. With that said though, my mother has always been the only parent there for me. She did what she could to play both the mother and father role in my life and she deserves her credit for that. Therefore I want to do a mother/daughter dance as well as a father/daughter dance. How can I do this without putting too much emphasis on it and hurting my dad's feelings?

amandanoelle12

IMO a mother daughter dance would be just ackward. I'd skip it all together, or have the DJ dedicate a song to your mother.

jcg98

I have a similar situation.  In addition to dancing with my dad, I am going to surprise my mom by giving her a special dance with one of my brothers.  I'm going to keep both dances short so that the spotlight dances don't take forever.  But it's important to me to honor my mother this way.  

Mrs Littlefield

I feel the same way jcg, I want my mother to know how much I appreciate her after all she has done for me. Seeing as I'm her only child though I couldn't do something like that.

Do either of you think it would be appropriate perhaps to do a song that is dedicated to her, as Amanda said, and have it as a mother/child type dance for everyone?

Anonymi

sorry, lurking here for song ideas for a wedding planning business, but I just have to butt in here. When I got married back in 2009, I faced a similar situation. My dad has been in texas since I was in the 4th grade and I'm in Utah and have been since I was 3. So he wasn't involved but he did come to the wedding. What we ended up doing is we nixed the daddy/daughter, mother/son dances entirely.

If you wanted to do it do something to honor her and you do decide to do those traditional dances I might suggest honoring her (like a pp said) with a song dedication or you could do it in a way entirely off the dancefloor like a special gift or something.

But if it were me, I'd nix the special dances and just honor my mom with a gift that was personal.

Mrs Littlefield

I thought about just taking them out completely but FMIL is really excited about it because her and FI never really got to do any dances together, he's not much the dancing sort. I like the idea of the gift though a lot. I got the mother/daughter dance idea from my aunt's wedding when I was young, she did it with my grandma because my aunt didn't know her father. I realize the situation is completely different but I've always dreamed of having that moment with my mom on my wedding day. I guess I'll just have to really think hard about a way to do this.
If I were to dedicate a song to her would I just tell the dj to play so and so song and it's dedicated to my mother? But thank you all SO much for the help here, I'm really all tied up on figuring this out. I appreciate it so much and look forward to any more help.

jcg98

I don't think there is anything wrong with the idea of you dancing with your mom. I considered it, and still might do it, but having one or both of my brothers do it honors them too, and the four of us have a strong bond.  If you go the route of having the dj announce the dedication, maybe your mom could lead it off, either with you or with a male relative (if you're more comfortable with that) maybe an uncle or cousin, etc.? Just a thought!

tpender13

If the mother/son dance is important, then have your FI do that; you can still skip a parent dance. I would think it's more strange to have a dance w/both your mom and dad than to not do one at all.

Are all of your parents in a relationship now? If they are, you could do an all parents dance right after your first dance. So your mom/stepdad, dad/his girlfriend, and FILs.