Wedding Ceremony & Reception Music Discussions

Groom hates to dance

My H2Be hates dancing!  The thought of everyone watching him dance makes him really nervous.  It isn't my favourite thing either but I certainly like it more than him (I just don't like the spotlight part).  I suggested doing a funny first dance instead but he isn't sold on the idea.  I worry that no one will dance if we don't do a first dance.  The most important thing is his comfort level, not the dancing but I'm not ready to say zero dancing either. 

Did anyone face anything similar?  Any advice?

Re: Groom hates to dance

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A "funny" dance would be 100 times harder than just a "stand and sway" to a sweet romantic song.  Unless one is a trained dancer, IMO a "funny" dance just comes off looking awkward and is uncomfortable for everyone to watch.

    If you don't want to do a first dance, don't.  Or start the dance, and then have the dj call your parents on the floor to join you after about 60 seconds.  Or start the dance, and then have the dj invite all guests to join you after about 60 seconds.  The also officially "opens" the dance floor and takes the pressure off of you.


    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Just pick a short song and practice beforehand.  That's what we did.

    I like trix's idea also--get started and then have everyone join in.  I've never seen that but it sounds pretty cool.
  • kls114kls114 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp. Great ideas!!

    You could add to the idea of asking people to join you in the dance floor and have the DJ/Band mention that every couple who joins you on the dance floor adds another year or health & happiness etc. or something along those lines!

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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the PPs ... have you ever heard the expression "Dying is easy, comedy is hard"? Making your first dance "funny" is probably going to be way more embarassing for him (And put way more pressure on him) than doing a slow song that doesn't require much moving.

    While I've never been to a wedding where the first dance was skipped entirely, I have been to one where after the first verse of the song the DJ called everybody onto the dance floor. It was fine, nobody thought it was weird. If you do it this way, just make sure your photog know about it, so he can get any shots where he doesn't want other people around out of the way first.

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  • MomoKubiakMomoKubiak member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow... good advice, from Meg.  Huh.
  • kissamarykissamary member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My fiance hates dancing too!  I think he might have a panic attack, so we are trying to find ways to combat it as well.  Ways we are doing so: We picked a 3 min song, we are going to take dance lessons (not fancy ones, he has really never danced before), and if he feels he can't make it we are going to have a special signal for the bridal party and parents to join in if needed.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Hi there, Im a lil late to the party, you may have found a solution to this already, but I wanted to offer an idea. You could take a piece of music, (traditional first dance, ie slow song) and edit down to a 2:30 min song, instead of a full 4 min-is song. My thought being that swaying back and forth and being close to someone might be less intimidating than a funny, non-traditional, attention getting kind of dance. Just my thought. Or one of my girlfriends, whose hunny hated the center of attention and dancing as well, had all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen join in after the first chorus. She had the DJ call us out there, we were aware this was going to happen before hand so we were all ready for it. That could alieviate some of the pressure too.
    Good Luck
    Beth
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