(((DJ vs BAND))) - arguement: DJ not classy!

Melar79

Facts:
~Saturday evening wedding
~Wedding is a year from now
~Fiance has turn-tables and 1 of our themes was going to be records/music
~We agree with my (the bride's parents) to have a classy, elegant, fun and   memorable kind of wedding

The problem:
---- my mom and possibly father think DJ's mean rave music or radio-like dj's not classy and no one at classy/elegant weddings has a DJ ----

My Fiance & I had this suggestion/solution for my parents:
Lets have the band during the pictures right after ceremony and while everyone is eating and for an hour after.
Then have a DJ for our friends that will be staying for the later fun.

Unfortunately I just asked my mom for a little favor and was kind of desperate and embarrassed to ask her in the first and she figured what a great time to play: LETS MAKE A DEAL!

I will do the favor if you just have a BAND and NO DJ!
WOW!
You can imagine how that went. I, of course, did NOT make a Deal with her. And tried to reason and explain to her the low blow and not-so-nice position she was putting me in and that I would have to talk to my Fiance, etc.
Luckily, I have a wonderful brother who can talk sense to her and reason with her.

So... she helped out and we agreed to talk further about this and make a decision that will be reasonable later on.

PS. I'm sure many of you have heard this one before but this is a scary 1st for me and I have year!!! MOTHER TO DAUGHTER (BRIDE): "THIS IS MY WEDDING TOO"

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE... OR AGREE WITH MY MOTHER OR ME. I could really use some help!

Thanks!!

Sandytoes133

Try presenting your mother with a playlist from the DJ you have chosen.. Let her see that he has access to a full range of music.. Maybe once she sees that it is not all "rave" music, she will reconsider.. and it is NOT her day.  She had her day when she married your dad.  She seems to be wanting to relive her big day through your wedding?  (maybe I'm wrong here..) You need to find your voice and let her know that this is your and your betrothed's day and that this favor would help to make your day special .. in the nicest possible way, of course. 

Of course, maybe your brother can present the playlist to her!  ;-) 

Good luck! 

My wedding is in 18 months.  My sister is the one trying to act as "stage manager" for mine, but I shut her down.. told her that her job was to offer me some decoratting ideas and to be a guest in full attendance...  we'll see..

Summer2011Bride

OP: My mother hasn't gone as far as yours, but is vetoing a lot of ideas and I am starting to get frustrated, so I somewhat get where you're coming from.

I would talk to the DJ you're thinking of having and ask for a variety of songs on a playlist and show your mom. I have been to weddings where DJ's played Josh Groban or classical music during dinner. They can play a huge variety. Ask your mom for specific songs/genres SHE wants played. Get her answer first. Then explain how this DJ can play ALL of that (if he can which he probably can). There is much more versatility with a DJ over a band and explain to her that a band may not know/want to/be able to play the stuff she wants anyhow.

Then if that doesn't work, go from there.

Melar79

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_dj-vs-band-arguement-dj-not-classy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:29Discussion:a08763fc-9c8e-4f8e-a91b-08336d2ad822Post:fc9a7d04-c3e8-4f49-b122-e5bc70ff4938">Re: (((DJ vs BAND))) - arguement: DJ not classy!</a>:
[QUOTE]Try presenting your mother with a playlist from the DJ you have chosen.. Let her see that he has access to a full range of music.. Maybe once she sees that it is not all "rave" music, she will reconsider.. and it is NOT her day.  She had her day when she married your dad.  She seems to be wanting to relive her big day through your wedding?  (maybe I'm wrong here..) You need to find your voice and let her know that this is your and your betrothed's day and that this favor would help to make your day special .. in the nicest possible way, of course.  Of course, maybe your brother can present the playlist to her!  ;-)  Good luck!  My wedding is in 18 months.  My sister is the one trying to act as "stage manager" for mine, but I shut her down.. told her that her job was to offer me some decoratting ideas and to be a guest in full attendance...  we'll see..
Posted by Sandytoes133[/QUOTE]

THanks, I will see if this works. I would like to play some popular today music that everyone can dance to.
Not just cover band material.

And good luck with your sister... I wish I could do that with my mom, but Im trying to be gentle ... since they r paying. HAH! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

Melar79

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_dj-vs-band-arguement-dj-not-classy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:29Discussion:a08763fc-9c8e-4f8e-a91b-08336d2ad822Post:c5081bf6-ab9c-4feb-bf1a-2ddf397ed571">Re: (((DJ vs BAND))) - arguement: DJ not classy!</a>:
[QUOTE]OP: My mother hasn't gone as far as yours, but is vetoing a lot of ideas and I am starting to get frustrated, so I somewhat get where you're coming from. I would talk to the DJ you're thinking of having and ask for a variety of songs on a playlist and show your mom. I have been to weddings where DJ's played Josh Groban or classical music during dinner. They can play a huge variety. Ask your mom for specific songs/genres SHE wants played. Get her answer first. Then explain how this DJ can play ALL of that (if he can which he probably can). There is much more versatility with a DJ over a band and explain to her that a band may not know/want to/be able to play the stuff she wants anyhow. Then if that doesn't work, go from there.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

THanks for the suggestion... I am so not prepared for dealing with this tug-of-war with her for year!

<font color="#993366">My friend had an interesting idea that I will also share with her. She suggested have the band to make her happy and at midnight go to another small venue with our friends and have a small afterparty!!</font> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" /> <font color="#993366">I love the idea!!

</font><font color="#000000">So we will see.
</font>GOOD LUCK with your mom!

jemmini6

Maybe you should have your mother speak directly to the DJ you plan to hire.  She will probably listen to the professional more than you because she probably thinks you are 'lying' to her just to get your way.  He can go over what he normally does for weddings and show her the vast amount of music he has to offer (which will be far more than any band you find).  Lastly, remind your mother that it is NOT her wedding.

Sandytoes133

In response to stagemanager14.. I meant you no offense but  I VERY MUCH meant stagemanage...not director, since that is right in my line of work.  And I am fully aware of what a stagemanager does, thank you.  I also found it laughable that you think you needed to explain it to me without actually knowing my career background... .. and on a wedding music forum.. on someone else's thread.

Melar.. I hope your mom sees that your wedding is not going to be a rave, but a wonderful mix of music that everyone can enjoy...that doesn't take a 45 minute union break every hour..