Wedding Ceremony & Reception Music Discussions
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I want to sing, but when?

Ever since I was little, I have dreamed off singing at my own wedding. I did take preformance vocal, as a hobby, in university and have song infront of upto 200 people in the past (the american anthem). And I've received oodles of compliments from each preformance.

My FH is a little iffy about me singing because he thinks it would be corny! Which leaves me with 3 choices:

1. Don't sing and regret it

2. Sing the mother/son dance song

3. Sing a fun song that we both love just to my sweetie.

Any suggestions?

Re: I want to sing, but when?

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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_want-sing-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:a3cacfb1-22b5-408f-94cb-6e6651bd7d33Post:b4e9545f-f407-49f9-acdf-84810218b857">I want to sing, but when?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ever since I was little, I have dreamed off singing at my own wedding. I did take preformance vocal, as a hobby, in university and have song infront of upto 200 people in the past (the american anthem). And I've received oodles of compliments from each preformance. My FH is a little iffy about me singing because he thinks it would be corny! Which leaves me with 3 choices: 1. Don't sing and regret it 2. Sing the mother/son dance song 3. Sing a fun song that we both love just to my sweetie. Any suggestions?
    Posted by dainamariekennedy[/QUOTE]


    First of all:  DO NOT do #2.  That just inserts you into a moment that should be about your FI and his mom.  Bad, bad idea and you're sure to come off as a huge AW for that.

    I vote, actually for "none of the above".  I am a professional singer.  I have sung in far larger venues and events that singing the national anthem (it's not the American anthem)  at a baseball game.  And I'm here to tell you that the emotions of your wedding day are overwhelming.  Overwhelming.

    I did NOT sing at my wedding.  I did NOT sing at my son's wedding.  I did NOT sing at my DD's wedding.  And just to give you an example of what that shows:  I DID sing at my mom's memorial service, and THAT was an emotional day.

    Please, if you must sing, choose a song that you love and make that your first dance.  And as you're dancing, you can quietly sing to your new DH.

    But I promise you that indulging in this "vision" is going to make your guests uncomfortable, because it's likely to be challenging for you because of an emotionally charged day.  It's also too AW-ish for my taste.

    And your FI is against it, and you still want to do this?  It's his wedding too.  Please don't do something that he's asking you NOT to do, because you've had this idea since you were "a little girl".

    And just for future record:  you don't preform~you perform.

    Sorry.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    toepfertoepfer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    don't sing.  it's tacky.
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    Lauren620Lauren620 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would take FI's feeling into consideration, if he asked you not to do it I wouldn't.
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    edited December 2011
    If I went to a wedding where the bride sang, I would be so embarrassed for her and her FI. That's super AWish -- you're already going to get a lot of attention and compliments that day, how much more do you need?! 
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    sharh03sharh03 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I thought about singing as well, but in a very low key way. My future family knows that I used to sing but really gave it up once the real work kicked in. My fiance dies to hear me and wishes I would sing to him more often, and the future fam tries to sneak me to karaoke hoping for a listen.

    I was going to learn to play the guitar as a surprise to my Fiance and sing something very simple "love me tender"  It's simple, quick, and I had planned to do it after the highlight of the evening so I wouldn't be stealing the spotlight of anything like that.

    HOWEVER, all I keep thinking of is the pressure doing that and doing it well...I'd be more worried about that than it being a special treat for him and it would ruin the rest of my day. If you messed up or felt silly after, it is what you're going to remember about your big day.

    My compromise is that I may professionally record either our first dance song (whatever we choose and it will be a surprise to him when it comes on) or just another song that may play at the reception, and then whisper to him while we dance that it is me singing and it is for him.

    If you long to sing at a reception, let a good friend know when it comes to be their big day that you'd be willing to do a song for them.

    PS - the MOST important thing is that your fiance does not really want you to, and that should be bottom line!
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    edited December 2011
    I also vote no.
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    edited December 2011
    I think that everyone's comments have been good, but I'm not going to say No on this one.  My Fiancee is a professional trumpet player and we have tossed around the idea of him playing during our wedding ceremony.  We've pretty much come down on the side of No, but we're hiring his long time trumpet teacher to play for us, but that is just the decision that is right for us.  I would say do serious deep thinking and decide if you really want to put that kind of pressure on yourself, you're going to be super stressed and that can totally mess with the vocal chords.  As a musician myself, not far from professional, I studied in college, and I've been in been in the situation of not being able to finish a piece, it's terrible.  All of that being said, if you still think you can make it through it, have a serious sit down with your fiancee and figure out his real reasons for not wanting you to sing.  If he just thinks it's corny it may not be a big deal, if he's deeply against it, you should probably accept that.  If it's something you've always dreamed about then you shouldn't just write it off.  Anyway, all of that to say, don't just write off the idea.  Maybe you could sing at the reception where all the pressure is off.  Best of luck. 
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    edited December 2011
    I must agree with others, that you probably shouldn't.  It's your wedding day & you'll be getting a ton of attention (even though that's not what you're after by singing at your own wedding).  I think you should just relax & enjoy all your hard work paying off. 

    My long-time ago piano instructor (also the church organist) recorded music beforehand and then played it at all three of her children's weddings, so she could particapate in the ceremony.  I thought this itself was tacky.  I couldn't imagine the bride/groom actually performing at their own wedding.

    And, like mentioned before, emotions will be very overwhelming and you may be setting yourself up for failure.  A simple voice crack, the start of a tear, etc.... will ruin the moment and just add to the awkwardness for yourself, family & guests.

    ultimately, it is your & FI's choice, but I would just want to kick back relax & enjoy :)
    When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things must happen: There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly. -Patrick Overton
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    spenet1spenet1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_want-sing-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:a3cacfb1-22b5-408f-94cb-6e6651bd7d33Post:0957a22e-08cb-4462-85bc-c728f2ffb7cc">Re: I want to sing, but when?</a>:
    [QUOTE]And, like mentioned before, emotions will be very overwhelming and you may be setting yourself up for failure.  A simple voice crack, the start of a tear, etc.... will ruin the moment and just add to the awkwardness for yourself, family & guests. ultimately, it is your & FI's choice, but I would just want to kick back relax & enjoy :)
    Posted by taraz579[/QUOTE]

    I think she put it the best, and lmuch ess harshly than other pp's. I considered doing a duet with my best friend at my wedding, something fun and upbeat (there may be many other people singing too... all my friends are musical theatre performers), but have since thrown that idea out because of overwhelming emotions, etc. I wouldn't want to crack! Even if I planned on doing something light, it's gonna be a crazy day and heck, I might even forget the lyrics!

    It is totally up to you - but my opinion is if singing isn't THE biggest part of your life, then don't use this moment to indulge.
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