awkward question.....advice needed!

butterflyjumper1

how much did your bridesmaids spend on their BM dresses? or did you buy their dresses?

i am struggling to choose a BM dress because i feel bad making my girls pay for something expensive.  most of them are settled and with good jobs, but i have always been the type of person who doesn't like making other people do things and pay $$ for things just for me. i know they are my bridesmaids, but i still feel bad!

cwaggoner07

I haven't picked the dresses yet but I promised that they would not be over $150. I anticipate they will be between 100-150. If you add shoes that ups the price even more, so that's worth thinking about.

bells24412

I wanted to keep to costs low as much as I could for my girls. I ended up chosing a dress that was 140, then because they bought their dress at the same place i bought my wedding dress they got 25.00 off their dress. I thought it was pretty reasonable and the girls thought so too. Most of them don't even have to do much with alterations.

BeachLover2885

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_awkward-questionadvice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:21bc0841-3d8f-40e0-96d0-0c976b2c0a19Post:f904e5a1-691a-475e-92d4-0cd3ed90530f">awkward question.....advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]how much did your bridesmaids spend on their BM dresses? or did you buy their dresses? i am struggling to choose a BM dress because i feel bad making my girls pay for something expensive.  most of them are settled and with good jobs, but i have always been the type of person who doesn't like making other people do things and pay $$ for things just for me. i know they are my bridesmaids, but i still feel bad!
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

<div>I totally understand what you mean about having people shell out money for you. It can be awkward!  However, as a BM I was always happy to buy the dress the bride wanted etc. I emailed the girls pictures of the dress my sister picked out and everyone seemed to really like it. No one complained about the price either.  The girls did get a 10% discount at the store which was helpful! I'm hoping to pay for the girls' hair on the wedding day as a treat because I know most of them will want to get it done.  </div>

k8888

My girls knew they'd be paying for the dress up-front, but I know how you feel about having people pay for stuff that's centered around you.  I'm the same way.

Their dresses are $165 and alterations are included (2 of my girls are plus-size so they had to pay about $25-$30 extra for the larger size, I'm not sure exactly how much). 

Hair & makeup is optional but available if they want it (most of them want it professionally done with me on the day of my wedding, which was a really nice surprise), and I'm only asking that their shoes be black sandals... I don't care about heel height.  I even told them to use a shoe they already had in their closets if they wanted.  No one's going to be looking at their feet anyway.

AllyG303

The girls' dresses were $130. 

colleenm18

I made sure to talk with each girl before I even started to look at dresses to see what price point they would be comfortable with and all of them said up to $200.  I personally thought that was still too much so I found dresses that are about $140 and they are all very happy with that price.

ceglare4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_awkward-questionadvice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:21bc0841-3d8f-40e0-96d0-0c976b2c0a19Post:3778c6a5-2d96-49d2-8228-87b0e5e33154">Re: awkward question.....advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]The girls' dresses were $130. 
Posted by AllyG303[/QUOTE]

Mine were too.

LADY324

All of my BM dresses ranged in price b/c I let them choose their dress.  They are all wearing different styles in the same color, fabric and designer but I know that they all ranged from $120-$160 and they all include alterations.  I have 2 plus size who had to pay an extra $25.

butterflyjumper1

thanks so much for all of the advice, ladies. you all confirmed that my $150-ish "budget" for them was right on the money. it is hard because i found a dress i am obsessed with that is just a little too high.....

the poll definitely answered my question

7E&G7

My BM dresses are $170, I thought that was too much but everyone agreed that the price was okay. If they didn't I would have chosen something lower in price that they could afford.I think you should ask them their opinions on price ranges and they chose from there if you feel uncomfortable

YuMMMy721

My girls dresses were $100 after the discount for buying them at the same place I bought my dress. I am having them get matching shoes dyed to the dress color, and a matching hair piece, so all in all it will be about $150 for them, they were all ok with this except for one girl, who I knew when I asked her just woulnd't be able to swing it. I have paid for her dress, but no one but me, my FI, and her know that. 

owengirl996

My BM dresses were right around the $200 mark...I want to say $198 after discount for reserving them and buying them the same place I got my dress. Before discount, they were over $200. I had two of my BMs with me and they were fine with the price, and my mom is paying for my sister's, so she was ok with it. I offered to help the 4th BM pay since I didn't consult her about the price before, but she refused.

ETA: One of my BMs did have to jump up into the plus sizes since she will be over 8 months pregnant. Her and another friend will both be spending some money for alterations since they're pregnant (both around 8 months in July), so an exact fit will be near impossible. I also went with short dresses to help minimize alteration costs. I usually feel guilty about this stuff too, but since I had just done the whole buying the dress and paying for alterations for my cousin's wedding, I guess I didn't feel so bad lol That dress was $160 and I paid $100 for alterations!

Carla1019

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_awkward-questionadvice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:21bc0841-3d8f-40e0-96d0-0c976b2c0a19Post:791e3e5c-9cca-4f0e-9d70-d3948a1a5744">Re: awkward question.....advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks so much for all of the advice, ladies. you all confirmed that my $150-ish "budget" for them was right on the money. it is hard because i found a dress i am obsessed with that is just a little too high..... the poll definitely answered my question :)
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

Like PP said, ask them what they are comfortable paying. You might be surprised that they may say more than you expected.

For cultural reasons my BMs are wearing two dresses. I have a seamstress that can make dresses just as good as David's Bridal. I paid for the fabric and my BM paid $190 for two custom made dresses.

littlemoments324

The girls' dresses were $185 (if they were above a size 18 it was an additional $20, only 2 of them had to order that size)...However, I must say that I am very annoyed at one of my good friends (who is also a BM).  The dress she picked for us for her wedding was around $250 after alterations its going to cost me over $300...not happy at all....I told her that I couldn't afford to pay for the dress and she said we'll work something out.

Madisonpenny

I don't have nay bridesmaids, only a "Man of Honor" and he's buying his suit because he says he doesn't have one and wants one so it works.

elizabethmae315

My dresses are $130, but we are ordering them online. I know its a little risky, but I was a BM last year, and we ordered them from the same retailer- house of brides. The dresses would have been closer to $200 if we ordered them in a store, and I picked a different designer than alfred where I bought my dress, so there wasnt that discount. 

GL! Let us know when you find the right dress!

bridetobe71412

Mine are slightly more than I wanted them to be, but my girls said 1) they really, really liked the dress, and 2) they were ok with the price, and 3) (I KNOW, I KNOW) they will actually be able to wear them again since they are in a neutral color. They're JCrew dresses, so at least there won't be extensive alterations because they're standard JCrew sizes. They are $250.

Skyjewell23

We did four different dresses. They ranged from $150-$180, but they each got $20 off so it made the dresses much more reasonable. 

MeaganR12

We're doing mismatched BMs dresses, they all get to pick their own from whatever store they want. 

Rebis58

Each girl is picking their own dress (has to match a range of shades of my colour scheme, knee length, fancier than a cotton sundress). I sent them each a card with paint chips they could match (6 shades of turquoise and 4 shades of green), descriptions of my three criteria, and a $100 cheque. I told them to use the money however they would like. If they spend less, they can keep the difference. If they spend more, that's their choice and they can cover the difference.

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_awkward-questionadvice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:21bc0841-3d8f-40e0-96d0-0c976b2c0a19Post:2d667fd2-f186-40b6-8b58-d54de5740d49">Re: awkward question.....advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]The girls' dresses were $185 (if they were above a size 18 it was an additional $20, only 2 of them had to order that size)...However, I must say that I am very annoyed at one of my good friends (who is also a BM).  <strong>The dress she picked for us for her wedding was around $250 after alterations its going to cost me over $300...not happy at all....I</strong> told her that I couldn't afford to pay for the dress and she said we'll work something out.
Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

I know how you feel. For my brothers wedding the dress cost me 350 for a plain black dress and with alterations and shoes the whole thing cost me 500 bucks!!! I was floored!

mekiakoo

The girls' dresses were $150, they all paid for it.

My parents paid for my MOH's dress though, since my MOH is in a difficult financial situation and she is like a daughter to my parents.

bookworm78

I was never comfortable making people pay to be in my wedding, which is the main reason we decided on ONLY a maid of honor and best man. That way we could afford to pay for everything they needed for the day. I know it's standard procedure for the attendants to pay for the own suit/dress/shoes...but it just irks me that it's the way it is. I personally think if you ask people to be in your wedding, you should be the one paying for their expenses. Just my view though. 

singing_lyn

The dresses that I found at the store we went to up here were $188, but I contacted RK Bridal out of NY and through them they're $130 with free shipping. So I told my girls to order their dresses through them since it doesn't matter for alterations purposes since they're all going to people closer to them for alterations.

ginadog

My only relevant experience is when I was a BM in my sister's wedding.  She told us which JCrew material and color she wanted, but then we got to pick the style.  They were also on sale at the time, so I think I paid $106 total.  She did not see me in the dress until the day of the wedding.

michelle11988

My girls got a deal on their dresses.  They are only $99 each and were on sale for that price!  I also told them to wear whatever silver shoes they wanted and makeup/hair is optional and if they want it thats great, if not that's okay as well.  I don't think many will need alterations either due to the style of the dress so that's good for them.

cmhutchison22

I am only having a MOH.  She is picking out and buying her own dress.

Elinetrouwt

In Belgium, there is no tradition of matching bridesmaids clothing. In fact, even having bridesmaids is not a tradition, people usually have one witness (MOH/Best man) each. I do have two attendants, my sister and my best friend, but they're free to pick their own dress. I probably will go dress shopping with my sister though, just for fun, she gets to pick. I might pay for her dress, because she is 18 and has no money of her own.

skashley75

I picked the color and let my Bridesmaids pick their dress styles... I like the way this looks in pictures... and it gives them the opportunity to choose a lesser priced dress if they need too... it also eliminates any compaining about the styles... most girls know what styles work for them and I trust they can choose a dress that will look nice!

avojean

The first time I had two attendants and we just bought formal evening wear off the rack at a mall department store.  The cost was quite reasonable.  Same dress, two different sizes!  This time I am having my sister as MOH and my grandaughter as FG (she doesn't know it yet!) I will likely go shopping with my sister and let her pick anything she feels fabulous wearing!  (as long as it is befitting the formality of the occasion!)  I am not worried as we have quite similar tastes!  I will pay for my FG's dress as her mom is a full time student and budget is tight!  We will shop together and I'm biased but everything looks darling on a four year old flaxen haired fairy princess (as she fancies herself to be!)