How do you handle negativity?

handheld

When you come up with what you think is a super cute awesom idea for your wedding and someone totally tears it down, weather on this board or in your day to day life how do you handle it? Do you always rethink the idea?  I usually carry on with the idea saying well I like it and everyone has an opinion, but sometimes I feel like I really get my feelings hurt. 

Janna2012

I'll be honest that's why I generally stick to this board. The rest of theKnot is pretty abrassive to me. If you don't agree with standard convention you are pretty much bullied into it. If you are concern about people outside of theknot judging your ideas same advice applies. Generally I try to not let it get me down and remind myself what I want out of my wedding and why I'm excited to be going against the norm. 

If you haven't seen it already http://apracticalwedding.com/ the blog or the book are great, level headed, non-judgemental resources that help you put thing into perspective. 

jennipea382

I venture out onto the other boards occasionally but I agree that sometimes they aren't as lenient on people with different ideas and standards. I usually just keep those opinions to myself (like my opinions on cash bars, dollar dances, etc). It's not worth the drama.

As for friends and family, I try to see what they're saying, but I mostly just ignore it. I thought about adding pink into my wedding colors and my cousin looked totally disgusted. We didn't end up adding pink, but it wasn't because of her! I usually have the opposite problem.. I hear terrible ideas from people (or at least I think they're terrible, others may not agree). We are bringing in (most of) our own alcohol and it was actually suggested to me that we still charge guests for the drinks to make the money back. I'm comfortable with cash bars, but it's not ok IMO for the guests to be paying ME for their drinks! I've just learned to smile and nod about it and say something like "thanks for the idea, but I think we're going a different way with it".

misscrafty84

I think the above was good advice. From reading other boards I sort of see what they don't like so I don't post about those things, but I'd still do it in my wedding if I wanted(our bar will have a ceiling, then it'll be a cash bar, for example). Try not to let them get you down

kari06_12

When it comes down to it, although we want this day to be perfect to everyone, when it's over (and I've heard it FLIES by), we'll each be married to our best friend and the one we love ... and I'm sure, quite positively sure, that he will say it was perfect ... and if it is uniquely you ... then do it ... it'l be even more perfect for YOU.  And those who are going to be at your wedding are the ones who are there to support YOU, not your wedding colors, music selection, choice of beverage ... thank goodness you don't have to invite every Knottie to your wedding ... and therefore don't need to please them

Don't think I could handle "4 weddings" though because then it would matter how they felt ;-) 

kaceymarie

with my family i don't really listen to them. if my fiance & i are happy idc.

on the boards i stay generally quiet about my ideas. i see how people can be..

ginx1188

I think a big part of it is to keep in mind that it's YOUR day. You're going to come across a lot of people that want to make the decisions or try to "save you" from what they think is a bad idea. But at the end of the day, you ultimately have to remind yourself that this is your chance to make your vision come to life. The only thing that I tell people when they are negative is athough they don't like it, to please be supportive in the fact that this is my day. I've had a lot of negativity from people, because I chose to have a black tie wedding, I was told it was pretentious of me to expect people to dress up, which I disagree with. And when I asked my bridemaids about certain ideas for them, some were a little more vocal than others with their opinions. Just don't lose site that it's ultimately what you want, and as long as you have your dreams come true, at the end of the day, that's all that matters. 

ginx1188

I think a big part of it is to keep in mind that it's YOUR day. You're going to come across a lot of people that want to make the decisions or try to "save you" from what they think is a bad idea. But at the end of the day, you ultimately have to remind yourself that this is your chance to make your vision come to life. The only thing that I tell people when they are negative is athough they don't like it, to please be supportive in the fact that this is my day. I've had a lot of negativity from people, because I chose to have a black tie wedding, I was told it was pretentious of me to expect people to dress up, which I disagree with. And when I asked my bridemaids about certain ideas for them, some were a little more vocal than others with their opinions. Just don't lose site that it's ultimately what you want, and as long as you have your dreams come true, at the end of the day, that's all that matters.