FI's Wedding Band

NMac2010

So, FI and I have had many discussions about his band, and I'm just afraid that he's not going to get into the habit of wearing it. And for some reason, this bothers me.

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. FI has never worn jewelry, not even his college ring or the 4 uber expensive watches he bought in Europe. They just sit on our dresser. I've voiced to him how important it is to me that he wears it, and he said he'll do his best to remember to wear it every day. So, all I can do is take his word for it and give him the benefit of the doubt. BUT, I know FI, and I just see it being a constant me having to remind him to wear it, and then getting upset when he comes home and it's not on because he forgot it, type thing. And I don't want that, I wish I DIDN'T care.  

His brother doesn't wear his wedding ring, but he wears his Aggie ring EVERY SINGLE day. Hmmm...I give that the side eye a little, but, whatever.  They've been married for about 4 years, have a kid, and I've never once seen his wedding band. That would bother me, if I were FSIL. Not going to lie.  

Does anyone else have a  DH that doesn't wear their ring, or wasn't used to wearing jewelry before getting married?

fallbride1109

Ben never wore jewelry but he wears his every day--he never takes it off so there's no way he won't "remember." 

He did however want something that would feel very lightweight so he chose Titanium.  He can't even feel it.  And it was cheap.

angieandjames

FI is in construction, and works with his hands a LOT... I have the same concern, because in addition to that, he NEVER wears jewelry.  But, I'm trying to be open minded, and remind myself that he won't be picking up ladies on the job, if he chooses not to wear it to work, and that it would be safer for him to leave it off since he works with tools and stuff... as long as he wears it outside of work, like when we go places, I plan to keep my complaining thoughts to myself

MissAngel

I think my FI will probably not wear his wedding band often either.  He doesn't wear jewelry and even though his parents do give him jewelry (they own a jewelry store) he still doesn't wear it.  In fact, when his parents made my engagement ring, they made him one too and he barely wears it, but it doesn't bother me.  Sometimes I forget to wear my E-ring and it doesn't bother him either.  If it's not in front of me when I get up or leave the house I won't remember.  Both my parents and FI parents (who have both been married for 30+ years) barely wear their wedding bands/E-rings so maybe we sort of just don't see it as a big deal.  We know and trust that our love for each other is strong and we don't really need anything like a ring to prove it to anyone.

Donnaaries

DH wears his as much as he can remember to, which is about 60-70% of the time.  I can't rag on him because I forget mine from time to time. 

It doesn't bother me.  Our marriage is about our relationship, and the rings are nice symbols, but they don't make or break the bond between us.

NMac2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fis-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:63369ff0-2a90-4ccb-b453-c105d49b6fbePost:8a59d518-eb6b-4545-a0a0-6e6cd5efba11">Re: FI's Wedding Band</a>:
[QUOTE] Our marriage is about our relationship, and the rings are nice symbols, but they don't make or break the bond between us.
Posted by Donnaaries[/QUOTE]

I totally agree, and it's not going to change the way I look at our relationship by any means.

shortgirltx

Neither of us wore jewlery until becoming married (engaged for me with my e-ring).  My grandfather doesn't even have one and I saw my dads for the first time earlier this year.  DH wears his most of the time although it did take him awhile to remember.  Even this weekend he forgot to put it on.  Does that say anything about the relationships? No.  Yes it's a symbol but marriage is so much more than a ring. 

I don't wear my ring 100% of the time, actually I'm not wearing it more times than I am.  I put it on when I head out the door in the morning and usually take it off when I get home because I don't want to get it dirty with the garden or have it covered in whatever I am cooking.  DH is the same way.  MIL had a huge issue with this when we first got engaged and accused me of so many things just because I take my ring off: I didn't truly love him, I didn't like my ring, I was ashamed, I wanted to be available, all sorts of untrue crap.

The only thing that would tick me off is if we spent a fortune on his ring and he didn't wear it.  I don't want to spend a huge amount for it to just sit in the drawer.

NMac2010

Stephie,

We chose Tungsten because FI is always working with his hands, and is pretty rough on things so we figured something that was "indestructible" would be the best idea. It was cheap too, so if he loses it somewhere from taking it off all time time...haha, we can just buy a new one.

NMac2010

Shortgirl- I hear ya. I am just hoping he makes an effort, and if he really doesn't get into the groove of wearing it after a while, I'm sure it won't be the end of the world.

llc2011

Chris doesn't wear jewelry now, but will make the effort to wear his band. 

I'm not that worried when he forgets it because I grew up with my dad never wearing his band.  In fact my mom wears his band on another finger.  They have been married for 33 years this month, so I know it's about the relationship, not the symbol.

fallbride1109

Wow, I only take my bands off to shower.  I can't stand to not wear mine.  I had to leave mine at the B&B when we went tubing -- Ben convinced me to and I'm glad because I would have lost it for sure probably.

I wouldn't care if Ben never wore his ring but he loves it.  He never takes it off.

NMac2010

I wear mine all the time too, I don't ever take it off except in the shower, or when we go on bike rides, or go swimming. Other than that, it's always on!

Jeff and Deepthi

Yea, I'm already aware that Jeff won't wear his. He is an engineer and it's acutally quite dangerous for him to wear it sometimes. I don't really care. He's not had a ring this long and it doesn't matter, what's going to change after? I'm sure he'll wear it after work and when we go out. We haven't found a ring but he doesn't want anything expensive because he's almost sure he'll lose it at one point or another.

cfibelkorn

Travis won't wear his 90% of the time, he works outside and with his hands too. Im not going to expect him to come home from work and then wear it for the few hours we are at home haha when we go out he will wear it though

It doesnt really bother me because I look at it this way....if a man is going to do something "wrong" it wont matter if he is wearing a piece of metal on his finger or not

Dont worry about girl! If he had a "cushy" office job Im sure he would wear it all the time. I take all my jewelry off when I get home, I dont cook, sleep, shower, etc in my jewelry.

annielouise

FI and I had this convo last week as well.  We went to Robbins Bro to get our wedding bands (which is where we got my E-ring) and they had a heck of a deal, if you purchased a ladies wedding band worth $495 or more you the groom’s ring free.  It is Titanium, $100 value (woohoo!)!!  He doesn’t wear jewelry either and found the Titanium the most comfortable, as PP said.  We’ve had talks about him wearing his ring before and he’s made it clear that he wont wear it to work (he’s a Detention Officer and says he wants the inmates to know the absolute least about him as possible) but will do his best to wear it all other times, which I’m good with!  A ring doesn’t define your love—its merely a symbol of it.

NMac2010

Thanks ladies, you're all so very right!

Glad to know my FI isn't the only one who isn't 100% sold on the idea of wearing a wedding ring!

tnickel06

DH and I wear ours a majority of the time, but some days I get home from work and just take it off when I walk in the door. I was actually talking to somebody at work about this and he couldn't believe that I didn't flip out when DH doesn't wear his. I said the same thing about it just being a symbol and it not defining our relationship.

Jay+Marissa

It's only been 3 weeks, but Jay has never taken his off. I never take mine off either--except when I'm cooking something that requires me to get my hands dirty or I go swimming.

My dad is an airplane mechanic and it is dangerous for him to wear his as well--in fact he has seen someone get their finger skinned because of it and another person that was electrocuted. So he just wears his on a chain around his neck. Always has.

To be honest, I would be put off if Jay didn't wear his on a regular basis--they mean a lot to both of us. He may have to take it off often during med school and later as a doctor, but will probably wear it on a chain then

linzcw04

My husband never, ever wore jewelry so I thought it would be hard for him to remember to put a small ring on everyday - but surprisingly he does. He only takes it off to shower or to sleep and lays it right next to his night stand. It's actually really cute and I LOVE it but I definitely expected him to forget it often!
I think the real reason he wears it is because his sister told him, "A man is sexier with a wedding band on - so watch out!" lol - he got a pretty good kick out of that and after I punched him in the arm for being retarded,
I was/is very important to me that he wears it and vice versa for his feelings regarding me wearing mine. Many men forget, lose, or just plain can't wear it due to the job they have so I wouldn't worry too much - but he may surprise you!