Drama - Extra Guests

gavancis

Hi everyone!

I'm having trouble dealing with our guests wanting to bring their own guests.

My cousin has asked me if she can bring her in-laws, which I have no relationship with. Her husband is just assuming they are also guests. 

How do I tell her nicely, that only she and her husband are invited. I'm more concerned about him getting upset.  I wouldn't want to put her in a bad position. She is like my sister, so I would be upset it she doesn't attend the wedding. We are paying for the entire wedding, so we are in a tight budget. 

There are other family members who I'm sure I'll have to deal with this problem also.

Thanks!

NathanandJordan

I am having this problem with my coworkers.  They keep asking me if they are invited.  I told them that we are on a tight budget and can only invite a certain number of people (which is true for us b/c the chapel only holds 130 people).  I let them know that we invited our family first out of obligation and didn't have enough room to invite all our friends.  

juliebug1997

Let your cousin know that you budgeted for the number of people you invited and that your venue has a certain number of people they can fit in that space and that you are at capacity.  That takes the heat off of you having to say, "Look, I don't know these people and I don't want them there."

courtski2004

If you and your cousin are as close as you mentioned, I don't think that it would be so bad to tell her that you have already met the maximum within your budget to be able to accomodate anyone other than related family and close friends. If you've never met her In-Laws, I'm not sure why she would want to bring them. I highly doubt that she or her husband would not come just because they can't bring guests.

danac2010

I had to tell all my family that we were limited on space and budget, which we were.  Most people don't think about all of that but since you and your cousin are close you should be able to explain that both are tight.

Tiffany618

You have to learn to tell people no, it is critical. 

That is honestly my best advice.   You can make excuses, tell "white lies" about capacity, you can even put the # invited on the RSVP card..but the bottom line is all of this can be controlled by just learning to say no.

lojohnson

I had the EXACT same problem, and i just had to explain that we were on a tight budget and were already expecting more than we were expecting.  I went as far as sending out personalized RSVP cards (which i did myself) in order to make sure that those that were single, didn't get an option for a date, and to know that there was a seat specifically for the invited person and if you didnt' get an invite, then please understand that it wasn't anything personal.   Ask your cousin to put in the $xx pp it costing you, for those that she want to come, and im sure that will cut all that out too. haha.

clea

"Oh, yes, I'd love to have them there, BUT right now we are maxed out on seating with no room for anyone else.  I'll let you know if that changes."

gavancis

Thanks girls!