Who should be in wedding pictures?

BeebleBride

At our wedding, we chose to take pictures with our bridal party, immeadiate families, and grandparents between the ceremony and reception.  That being said, the photographer was supposed to get pictures of us with our aunts and uncles during the reception.  I am not sure if he couldn't find everybody or if things got hectic, but some of the aunts and uncles didn't get photos taken.  My aunt saw our album and is extremely upset that her family did not get included in a formal posed portrait.  They are in other candid shots!  Nobody left her out on purpose ... we were supposed to get a picture with her and her family, but it never happened.  Now she is very mad.  Do you think that aunts and uncles should be included in wedding photos?  Or is what happened understandable?  HELP!

ElisabethJoanne

The photographers we talked to all stressed that since they don't know the guests, they can't be responsible for rounding up all special guests for special pictures. We have to appoint someone to do that. Also, we shouldn't count on having time at the reception to take additional formal shots.

It sounds to me like you dropped the ball by not taking our photographers' advice. You can't re-do your wedding, so I'd just own up to your mistake. "We didn't realize how hard it would be to get all the formal shots we wanted, and we did want one with your family. We're sad about it too. But we're so glad you were there to celebrate with us, and the photographer got great candids of you!"

BeebleBride

Well I am not so sure if that is what happened ... his wife was there to help him, and she said that she would be in charge of getting everybody together for those pictures (and she had met them at the rehearsal).  That is why I am thinking that they got busy doing other things.  That being said, I would never expect to be in formal, posed photos in any of my cousins wedding albums unless I was in the wedding party.  Is the couple's album not for the couple?  I assume that is why the couple chooses what photos are included in the album.  IMO, the wedding is about the couple, and nitpicking about how many nods you get in the couple's album seems really immature. 

clade

Um...that seems alittle harsh. PP doesn't know your exact situation and most photographers don't make it their job to round people up after the reception has gotten going so not an unreasonable assumption. To answer your question though I wouldn't expect to be in the formal shots unless I was in the wedding party or immediate family. That said I think its still fairly common to have photos taken with extended family (two family weddings I attended this was the case). But with that many people its always like trying to herd cats so I think that's why most photographers won't take on that responsiblity. If they promised they would and were told the list of shots you wanted from the beginning then that's their bad. Not sure what you can do about it at this point unless you had something in writing though. Maybe your aunt would have liked to have a photo with her family at the wedding with you and your husband for her own use? Perhaps that's why she's upset? Regardless Elisabeth's advice is still good just tell her you planned to get shots with their family, but the day was so busy it didn't happen, but here's some great candid shots.

BeebleBride

Oh and BTW, you sound like you have everything together!  And you sound like somebody who likes to nitpick about things that go wrong.  Kind of like my aunt.  Well good luck to you at your wedding!  PS You should be prepared, everything is not going to be PERFECT.  There will be mistakes or little things that do not go exactly as planned.  Have fun dealing with people who nitpick at you about those little things and tell you everything you did wrong and how you "dropped the ball."  You sound like you deserve what's coming!

ElisabethJoanne

I expect our wedding to be as perfect as my future husband.

mandctaft

I think that if we spend time on photos with aunts and uncles, we'll be there all night. I don't think you did anything wrong. If she wanted a picture with you, she could have approached you at the wedding. I mean I can understand, but there's nothing you can do now. I was at my cousin's wedding and it was the ONLY one I've been to where they took a picture of any aunts or uncles, and thats only because, they got a picture of everyone from that side our side of the family, since there was only 7 of us there. Just apologize and hope that she gets past it.

smartlypretty

If aunt wanted to be in the formal shots, then SHE should have stuck around for the pictures after the ceremony! What did she want you to do, run around your cocktail hour in a giant poofy dress and round up her family?!? 

stargazer88

actually family members do ask for pictures, they dont always have to be the formal ones that you do when you go aside but there's nothing wrong with family asking.
If you personally want them in the shot you should just ask your photographer even if it was last minute.
better late than never right?