Engagement Party: How to throw one????

apriandbob

My fiance and I are want to throw an engagement party sometime after the first of the year. Neither one of our parents can afford to pay for it or the wedding. Our wedding isn't until June 2013.

We met at a local country bar in our area where we both worked at the time and it has special meaning to us as we dated once before when I first started working there. in 97. We have always been friends and started dating again in 2009. We want to have it there and the owner told us that he would be honored to have it there .

Do we run a tab bar, cash bar or have it set for beer, pop and wine? Do we have appetizers or no? Do we have cake or no cake? The party would start around 8pm either on a Friday or Saturday night?

Do we have our wedding party "host" it and we pay for it. My two honor attendant's are in NC and Hawaii and his best man is in AZ and most likely won't be be able to make it home for the party.

This my second wedding and his first. And I want to make sure its all well planned out as I felt so rushed while planning the first one.

Any suggestions ,would be helpful.

palmettogirl924

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-throw-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:07782b34-f93a-491c-8835-a55094fa4675Post:3e14aaa1-518f-4498-8b01-6a436d6ca498">Engagement Party: How to throw one????</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are want to throw an engagement party sometime after the first of the year. Neither one of our parents can afford to pay for it or the wedding. Our wedding isn't until June 2013. We met at a local country bar in our area where we both worked at the time and it has special meaning to us as we dated once before when I first started working there. in 97. We have always been friends and started dating again in 2009. We want to have it there and the owner told us that he would be honored to have it there . Do we run a tab bar, cash bar or have it set for beer, pop and wine? Do we have appetizers or no? Do we have cake or no cake? The party would start around 8pm either on a Friday or Saturday night? Do we have our wedding party "host" it and we pay for it. My two honor attendant's are in NC and Hawaii and his best man is in AZ and most likely won't be be able to make it home for the party. This my second wedding and his first. And I want to make sure its all well planned out as I felt so rushed while planning the first one. Any suggestions ,would be helpful.
Posted by apriandbob[/QUOTE]

Mostly everyone on here is going to tell you that you shouldn't throw your own E-Party. Now, since I have never been to an e-party were gifts were given (this is typically why it's discouraged to throw your own party), I don't think it would hurt to have a SMALL celebration for you guys to celebrate an exciting time in your life.

For one, I wouldn't send out invites. I would do it word of mouth. Something like having drinks at the house, meeting up at a bar to celebrate. I wouldn't pick a formal and expensive venue, serve a meal and ask you WP to host it.

Since you aren't getting married till 2013, I wouldn't suggest picking your WP yet either. Since this is WAY in advance celebratory drinks is appropriate. Anything else, I don't agree with.

Maybe, if your parents WANT to, they can host it at their house. They don't have to pay for it. They can have some of your close friends over to celebrate, make a few drinks, and chit chat.

AdeleDazeem

Well... the rule is that you can't throw an engagement party for yourself, but I'm guessing you don't want to hear that, soooooooo

If you do go ahead with this plan, I'd suggest a few of the following:

1. No registry
2. Be REALLY REALLY sure that whoever is invited to this thing is invited to the wedding.  Your wedding is in 2013 so, um, be careful.  Picking a wedding party more than six months out isn't always a good idea, so your engagement party guest list has minefield written all over it.

All your other concerns about open bar, food, etc should be decided by the host.  As a host of any party, you are obligated to provide entertainment, food, and drink for everyone invited.  Drink does not mean every alcoholic beverage under the sun, but providing free beer and/or wine is good thought.

banana468

I'm going to also say that you shouldn't throw your own e-party.  It has nothing to do with the gift-giving aspect.  It's actually that it's not appropriate to throw a party for yourself.

However you can always throw a party for the sake of throwing a party.  Just make sure that whatever your guests can consume is on you and not them.

sister2groom

Not sure how I feel about you hosting your own engagement party, but if you do decide to...

You need to provide (and pay for) some sort of food and drink, doesn't have to be a tab bar, but it has to be something for free.

Hermine35

Haha, I love to hear what everyone has to say. I am totally throwing an engagement party for us! I like to think of it as a big party celebrating that something is different from last time we all hung out I want to get everyone together in one place and tell them the story and take pictures and give them a chance to tell stories about us! Ours  is also to give our parents a chance to get to know each other better. Our is going to be semi-small at my house. We'll have food and drinks and lots of fun!

So to answer your question, you can do it however you want to do it! If you're bridal party isn't really hosting it for you then I wouldn't say they are especially when they wont be there. Dinner and drinks really fall into how much you want to spend on this event.