Pre-wedding Parties

Destination Bachelorette Parties

I need some opinions!

I am a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding.  She is blessed by being born into a wealthy family.  She is a very kind person...but she has no understanding of the value of a dollar.  She spends more in a day than I spend in a month.

She wants us all to take off a Friday, fly to Las Vegas, stay in an expensive room, and party all weekend.  It wouldn't set me back to the poor house to pay for this...but I don't want to!  I don't want to use one of my precious vacation days to spend with a bunch of girls drinking myself into oblivion.  I don't want to spend the $600-$700 solely on the flight and room...not to mention all the drinks and food.  FI and I are saving for a house...that could buy us a new piece of furniture!

Does this make me a bad person?  Should I just suck it up and go?
Tara & Eric September 2011 Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Destination Bachelorette Parties

  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Decline the invite. You are not required as a bridesmaid to attend the party, especially if it involves you having to fly out.  Just tell her that you will not be able to attend due to finances and issues with time off.

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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would decline.  You are under no obligation to attend, and you are under no obligation to offer reasons, other than "I'm sorry.  I won't be able to make the party.  I hope you all have a wonderful time."

    If you're pressed for more, you can say "I have limited vacation time, and limited funds, and I can't really use either right now.  But have a great time!"

    IMO, what she's asking for is over the top, and as stage said, once you plan a "destination" party:  either a b-party or a wedding, you have to be prepared that people will not sacrifice vacation time or funds to attend.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    You aren't required to attend. Especially if its going to put you in the poor house. Your friend should understand/respect this. Maybe you can offer to take her out in the area you all live in, a nice dinner and some drinks, to celebrate.


  • pulga131pulga131 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto.  Decline the invitation.  Tell her that you simply cannot afford the trip at the moment but that you would love to celebrate with her and maybe have a 2nd bachelorette party locally.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree: decline.
    Depending on your comfort with this and with having conversations about money, I suggest letting her know that finances are part of the reason you won't be going because (and I'm trying to find a way to say this without making it seem like any judgment is being passed somewhere along the line, because it's not) I know that, were I in her shoes and my bridesmaid presented me with this, I might try to figure out a way to make it work for her, depending. (Wow!  Run-on sentence much?)

    Also, I love pulga's suggestion of a second bachelorette in town!
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