Pre-wedding Parties

i just..dont want a Shower, is that terrible?

SO I've been going over this in my head a bit and I'm a tad hesitant on the whole bridal shower situation.. I feel like I have a kind of, strange family situation..

I'm an only child, my parents are divorced and my bridesmaids are pretty much spread all over the midwest. I have two cousins getting married the same year as me, and their mother is my only aunt, and I certainly wouldn't expect her to pay for/host a shower for me.  And, to be quite honest, the whole idea of the shower just doesn't really appeal to me. I've got a fair amount of friends/relatives, but none of them really know eachother, and there's a little bad blood floating around in my family. 

My question here is, since I dont have this huge group of people that are dying to throw me a shower, and a weird family situation, is it OK to just nix the bridal shower?  Its honestly not my thing, and I think the whole day would just feel a smidge awkward. 

Please let me know if you have alternatives or advice.  Thanks.

Re: i just..dont want a Shower, is that terrible?

  • ecuchikaecuchika member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have just 1 question? Why would your aunt have to host a shower?
    (Some people may have different opinions but from lurking around I think I found out that its not that out of the question that your mother host it.)
     
    With that said:
    If you don't want a shower I think its fine to not have one they are certainly not required by any means.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A shower is in no way, shape, or form a requirement for a wedding.  If you don't want one, don't have one.  If someone offers, just tell them that you appreciate the offer, but you're going to decline.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    I have a similar situation where all my girlfirends are spread out in different states so we thought about doing the bridal shower the day before the wedding when everyone is in town but I feel like I'm going to be so stressed out that day running around doing last minute things.  One of my local bridesmaids offered to coordinate everything but then she asked me what is my budget for it?  I was actually shocked cause aren't they supposed to pay for everything??  I already have enough expenses with the wedding?! 

    So Bridgbo you're not alone, I think I'm going to nix the idea too.
  • Bridgebo117Bridgebo117 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    to echuchika.. Oh, I was just throwing out some people close to me that would possibly be a person to  host said party.. I heard or read somewhere that the aunt of the bride hosts the bridal shower... but thats just some weird etiquitte thing thats floating around that is neither here nor there, just throwing it out.  Just have a limited # of women in my family is all.. And my mom's got a lot on her plate and she's being completely stellar about everything and probably WOULD host it, but I don't want to add another thing for her to think about...

    and yea, Sweetie, thats just not cool for YOU to fund your own party. Maybe she's got the best intentions, but yea, certainly not your deal.  Its just another thing that is "supposed" to be done.  I totally enjoy going to showers, and I've always had a nice time and I am in NO WAY shape or form looking down or critsizing people's choice to have a shower, especially when the bride has a big group of friends and happy family to have at the party. But some of us just aren't that lucky to have everyone where they need to be in the same place, so, I guess it might just go the way side of, "meh, no worries about the shower" kind of a deal. 

    Its good to hear I wont be some crazy chick for not requesting a party... :)
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You shouldn't ask anyone to throw a shower for you.  A shower is offered.  If no one offers, then you don't have one.  If someone does offer to throw one for you, then you can decide whether to accept or not.  It's okay to say no thank you if you really don't want one.
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  • edited December 2011
    My bridesmaids (and even some of the groom's friends) were chomping at the bit to throw bridal showers, too!  I let everyone know that I am really uncomfortable with a party that almost literally has the word "gift" in it (as in, it's a gift shower).  Everyone understood.  Some will take their energy toward a bachelorette party, maybe someone will throw a super casual engagement party, and a couple of drinking buddies came up with a "wine shower" idea.  That's a shower I could actually see myself at, so we might end up doing it.  :)
  • scpalmtree06scpalmtree06 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not having a shower for very similar reasons...no bridal party, all friends and family live far away and are spread out...it just doesn't make logistical sense especially since everyone will have to travel to attend the actual wedding.  I think your decision is perfectly reasonable.
  • kfrisbeekfrisbee member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding is being put together in the sapce of four months and we live out of town, we are having it back in our hometown.  We visited a month ago to get stuff ready and my FMIL mentioned about trying to throw me a bridal shower,  I literally cringed at the thought and told her no thank you.  If you don't want one don't have one.
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