Hypothetical Shower for DW

nurse.misty

I've been searching for a few days on this and have found answers that are close to what I'm looking for but nothing exact so I'm going to go ahead and ask. FI and I are having a destination wedding with just the 2 of us and then a large AHR a few weeks after for all of our friends and family. I know not to expect a shower, which is fine with me since I hate being the center of attention anyway, but I also know my sister's will insist on having one. Should I try my best to not have them plan anything, or would it be ok to do if I make sure anyone invited to a shower is also invited to the AHR? All answers are appreciated. 

SaraAndrew2010

You should decline all offers of a shower.  Only people invited to the actual wedding ceremony should be invited to a shower.  AHRs don't count. 

If your sisters try to insist on throwing a shower, just be firm and tell them that it would not be appropriate and you would not feel comfortable having a shower.  They can't force you to have one.

trix1223

I agree with Sara.  Your instincts are right:  only those invited to the ceremony should get a shower invite.  So continue to say no to your sisters.

It's very sweet of them to be thinking of you, but let them know that you're aware of the consequences of your decision to have a DW, and that one of the consequences is that you forgo showers.

If absolutely necessary, tell them that if they should plan something, they should also plan that the bride won't be attending.  GL.  You're being put in a tough spot, and that's unfortunate.

nurse.misty

Thanks ladies. That's what I thought too. I think if they are persistent about doing something then I'll offer to do a "Girls Night Out" or something along those lines with just the 3 of us.