Engagement party?

nktucker

My fiance's parents recently threw out the idea of throwing the two of us an engagement party. Usually, I would have no qualms about this, but I feel like it might be inappropriate given that we have been engaged for around 2 years, and so our engagement is not exactly "news" to anyone we would think about inviting. I feel that because of this, this might be perceived in a negative light, as though we were just trying to find an excuse to have a lot of people give us congratulatory gifts (which we are not, in any way!) On the other hand, though,  we have already planned a really informal rehearsal dinner, so I know that his parents may take this as a bigger gathering that they could contribute more to. Advice??

twilight.rose

It's too late in your engagement to have an e-party and still be within etiquette.

Could you maybe talk to your FI's parents about adding to the RH to make it more elaborate, if that's what they want to do?

loop0406

I agree with twilight.rose, if you've been engaged for 2 yrs already, it's too late to have e-party. An e-party is to announce to friends/family that you're engaged

sabatron

Engagement parties are a relatively new custom and I don't particularly understand them.  If you've been engaged for 2 years already, you're way past the statute of limitations on an engagement party. It'll just look gift-grabby at this point.  Maybe just have an impromptu dinner with your immediate families to touch base with each other.

balasj

I like the idea of revisiting the plan for your rehearsal dinner and making that a little bigger of an event.  I do think at this point its a little too late and if you have the rehearsal planned you must be getting close to the actual wedding.  I think engagement parties are supposed to happen at least 9 months out or so...  Def closer to when you actually get engaged.  What about his mom throwing some other kind of luncheon or a second shower?  Maybe a morning after brunch? 

stephdonjon

Yeah, engagement parties were a foreign concept to me until I came to the knot, but even in my inexperience with them, I have to agree that having one after already being engaged for 2 years would be faux pas. If you can talk them into just making it a shower or something, that would be be better.

nktucker

Thanks for all your advice. I loved the idea about proposing that my FI's parents throw a morning-after brunch instead--I'll talk to them and see how that goes!

2BLCK

I went to a "meet and greet" 6 months prior to a friends wedding.  The invitation said no gifts, and the idea was to meet others that will be at the wedding in the future.  They did cocktails and light appetizers for a few hours.  I think this would be more for you.  It was a great way for the bride and groom to meet the cousins and dates of their guests they might not know too well.

obxbride17

I agree with 2BLCK...why don't you just consider renaming it something else and state on the invitation that gifts are not expected? If you've been engaged for 2 years and have not yet had an engagement party, I don't think it's fair to say you can't celebrate your upcoming wedding and have a get-together for everyone to meet prior to the big day. Just call it something else and don't incenuate that gifts are expected so as not to ignite any fires with those who might find it innapropriate. Since when is it ever wrong to want to celebrate 2 people getting married?