Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal Dinner Questions

Who all am I supposed to invite to the rehearsal dinner?  I have parents, bridal party and their spouses but are we supposed to invite grandparents? Also, how are the speeches handled?  My fiance's parents make a toast but does my dad?  The last rehearsal dinner I was at both sets of parents made speeches.  Thanks for the help!

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Questions

  • We included siblings and their SOs/families and grandparents, as well as guests who were staying with family members.  We had a couple of speeches - DH's folks as the hosts, my dad said something, and DH and I each thanked people.  I think as long as the speeches are short and sweet, a couple are okay.
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  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    edited June 2012
    Everyone that is involved in the wedding should be invited, including readers, musicians that are also friends, etc.  Those people will need to know at what point in the ceremony their "job" is, as well as technical information, like how the microphone is set up, if it will need to be adjusted/how to do it, if you're having a church wedding, any special ritual they need to do (like bowing before approaching the alter), etc.

    As far as speeches go, I would keep it to a couple.  If your dad would like to say something that is fine, but not necessary.  We're not having speeches at our RD because of an unfortunate one given at FBIL's rehearsal dinner.  I'm okay with that, since I'm not big on toasts/speeches focused on me.
  • Everyone who is part of the wedding and requires 'rehearsing' needs to be invited along with their SO (or parents if it's children in the WP) ... WP (including ushers), reader, muscians, parents of B&G ... pretty much anyone who has to be part of the official processional or go on the altar needs to be there.

    Unless they are involved in the actual ceremony or WP, siblings, grandparents and OOT guests are optional. 

    The word 'speech' always scares me ... are we talking a few minutes or just a brief welcome, thank you for coming, so glad we are celebrating this together type thing that takes a minute or less? Cuz anything much longer than that can get to be a bit much. 

    And for God's sake, if someone has diahrrhea of the mouth, don't give them the microphone. 
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  • Family (as extended as you want to go)
    Bridal Party including Ushers, Ring Bearers, Flower Girls, etc. (anyone that would have to be at the rehearsal)
    Officiant (if applicable, we're not involved in a church so we haven't known ours forever, therefore he will not be at the RD)

    And we're having our photographer there because she's become a good friend, and that way she knows who everyone is for formal pictures the next day ;)

    One etiquette book I read said that anyone that's visiting from OOT should be invited but YIKES that would mean all FI's family and like 10 people from my family, so we're not following that particular rule... Not to mention they'll all get a free dinner on us the next night ;D
  • My fiance is an only child and both my siblings are in the wedding party, so everybody in the wedding party, their families, the officiant and our parents will be there.  I just wasn't sure about the grandparents but I think I'm just going to nix it because only one set would actually show up anyways and even they might not.  Thanks for all the information!
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