Pre-wedding Parties

Bridesmaids Luncheon

So... I've seen mention of these on a couple of websites and it's in my Wedding Organizer that I bought as something to do, but I'm not entirely sure what it is. I was just wondering if anyone knows if there are any rules of etiquette for these?

I had wanted to do something for my bridesmaids anyway, but I'm on a bit of a budget. I'd been planning on asking my grandfather if we could use his beach house to go away for a girls weekend at the beach - but if I do that as an alternative to a Bridesmaids Luncheon do I then have to pay for all meals/gas/etc? Can I ask everyone to help chip in on groceries for all meals other than a special dinner that I'd cook them? Or should I nix the beach weekend idea in favor of taking them out for some kind of luncheon? I'm rather confused... I thought I'd come up with a new cool idea of something to do with my girls, but apparently I was wrong! lol
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Re: Bridesmaids Luncheon

  • edited December 2011
    If you are calling it a bridesmaids luncheon, I think you should pay for everything since it is supposed to be a thank you for your BMs.  However, I also think it's fine to call it or girls weekend or whatever (not wedding-themed) and ask people to chip-in for groceries, etc.
  • edited December 2011
    A BMs luncheon event (whatever you plan to do) needs to be completely covered by you as the host. I took my BMs out to lunch at a nice restaurant on the Friday of the rehearsal because it was the only time we were all together. I also included my mother, MIL, niece (who was under at the time) and officiant (who is a cousin's wife) and I paid for everyone. It was nice way to have a little downtime with everyone,

    If you want to go away for a weekend I would present it as a girl's weekend where everyone pays their own way. Then if you want, you can take them all out to lunch or dinner one time while you are there as your luncheon.
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  • ivyrose13ivyrose13 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm making my bridesmaids, my mother, and FMIL brunch on the morning of the wedding. I'm serving quiche, bagels, and a fruit salad. I made invitations on VistaPrint (10 for free) to set a more formal tone, and I am giving everyone necklaces that I made for them. It's my thank you to all the girls, but it is also my way of making sure that everyone eats the morning of the wedding. 
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  • edited December 2011
    If it's not in the budet to take the girls out to lunch, just do something nice for them at the house. You could buy lunch meats from the grocery store, and get some sides like potato salad, salad, mac and cheese, etc. That can be low cost and you won't have to tip. Tip for large parties can be expensive.

    The beach house sounds like a cool idea. Could you girls stay there the night of the rehersal dinner and do movies, popcorn, etc. As a fun thing for you guys to do right before the wedding.

    I'm planning on having all the girls stay with me at my hotel the night before and just watch some movies, chat, and have a glass of wine! It will also cut down the nerves by being with my BM's.

    There are definitly ways around a full out expensive luncheon.
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for all the input! I knew asking here I'd get a much clearer answer than any of the books have been able to give me =)

    Palmetto, I wish we could do the beach house after the rehearsal dinner, but unfortunately it's about a 3 hour drive away.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    oh i just wanted to add an idea!

    i'm having a 'girls nite' where everyone brings their favorite wine.  it's laid back, and uh, FUN because there's great company and alcohol!

    i'll be giving each girl their gift then, with some mini appetizers and snacks to munch on while we chat.  it's a surprise to them, but it makes for a much less expensive alternative and a more casual get together than a luncheon.

    have fun with whatever you decide! 
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridesmaids-luncheon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:170b6b1a-a33c-4552-b802-443c2a92ded3Post:35395d0c-4ec6-4faa-a87c-53090a164529">Re: Bridesmaids Luncheon</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh i just wanted to add an idea! i'm having a 'girls nite' where everyone brings their favorite wine.  it's laid back, and uh, FUN because there's great company and alcohol! i'll be giving each girl their gift then, with some mini appetizers and snacks to munch on while we chat.  it's a surprise to them, but it makes for a much less expensive alternative and a more casual get together than a luncheon. have fun with whatever you decide! 
    Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]

    Ooo cute idea!  Thanks!
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