Pre-wedding Parties
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So lost for the Bachelorette Party

The bride has not technically named any of us bridesmaids as her MOH because she doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings, whatever.  One bridesmaid is doing the bridal shower and I'm doing the bachelorette party.

I've always been to bach parties where it was around 10 girls and we all go out to a bar or dinner and have a good night.  My bride wants a limo and to rent a bar out downtown. She also has invited over 50 people. Who's supposed to pay for this? Both my kids are in the wedding as well so I have enough between dresses, tuxes, and accessories that I can't afford to spend anymore.

So my question is what exactly do I do?

Re: So lost for the Bachelorette Party

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    loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Usually the host of event pays. However, since you're the only one in charge of her bachelorette party and bride wants something out of your price range at the moment, I would suggest getting with her and asking if the 50 guests will pay their own meals/drinks and chip in for limo.....see what she responds and let her know what you're able to pay or not. Usually the bride doesn't decide where her own b shower or bachelorette is held or how it's supposed to be, she's allowed to give suggestions but not control/host on her own. I'm not understanding, she's invited 50 people already?  How can she invite them if it's not reserved/booked yet? You should definitely get with her soon

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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, the bride is asking for way too much. That would be a very expensive evening. You, as the host choose what you can host according to what you can afford and maybe some suggestions from the bride. You should talk to the other BM's and see if they can help chip in for any of it (limo, dinner, etc..) and then go from there. Then sit down with the bride and let her know what you guys can afford and let her know 50 people is way too many. A limo ride with 8-10 girls hitting up some bars and clubs is much more affordable and along the lines of a typical bachelorette. 50 people is insane! How could she even enjoy her evening and spend time with everyone! I also highly doubt all those people are also invited to the wedding which is a pre-requisite to be invited to a pre-wedding party.

    Maybe the bride doesn't understand how expensive the evening will be. Usually the whole BP splits the cost of the b-party or if it's more low key like going out to eat and hitting up a few bars/clubs then everyone just pays their own way and chips in for the bride.
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    edited December 2011
    There are only two other BM's and sadly, they're not even invited because they aren't the party type.

    She just informed me this is an open invitation party and everyone she invited to the bach. party is NOT invited to the wedding....I'm letting her do everything.  I'm done.  I find all of this rude because I know people are already asking where their wedding invite is.
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    garcias1garcias1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would talk to her once more.  Tell her that you are comfortable organizing a bach party for guests invited to the wedding only.  It is totally ok to ask each girl to split the cost (as long as the bride doesn't end up paying for anything).  Each girl should expect to pay for their own dinner, split limos and hotel rooms, and pay for their own alcohol.  Just make sure the girls are aware of this beforehand.   I don't think anyone should expect you to pay for everyone to get wasted and ride in a limo.

    If she insists on this "open invitation" business, then I would do like Retread suggested and wash your hands of the party all together.
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