Pre-wedding Parties

Gift Card Shower

One of my dear friends is getting married. The wedding is here in Florida (where they live 6 months of the year). However, they live in New Hampshire. They are visiting in May, so I am planning a shower for them then. Heres my dilema...I am considering doing a gift card shower, because it seems ridiculous to have them get all these gifts and then have to spend all the money to have them shipped back home. But everytime I tell someone about the idea, they cringe. Apparently, the "older women" dont like to be told what to buy  and think that gift cards arent personal enough.

So I need ideas ladies! What can I do to MAKE it personal? I had thought about assigning people different themes like "if Steph and Joe were going on a date, give them a gift card for where they should go." or "if Steph and Joe were going to cook dinner together, give them a gift card for a store where they can buy fun kitchen gadgets." Does this idea sound good? or confusing? Does anyone have a BETTER idea? Im open to suggestions!
We'll make it better...the second time around.

Re: Gift Card Shower

  • edited December 2011
    Sitting around while the bride opened a bunch of gift cards would bore me to tears.  Don't tell guests what they should give as gifts.  Either let people bring actual gifts, which is what a shower is all about, and let the bride find a way to get them home, or there shouldn't be a shower.
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Please do not do this! How awkward to sit there watching the bride exclaim "OOOOH a GIFT CARD to such and such!!" over and over? Also I hate to be told what to buy for someone. I love to choose a gift that I know the couple will like, not be assigned one. Also there is no possible way to make gift cards personal.

    I know you're trying to save your friends the hassle of shipping but if they think it will be too much trouble they will decline the shower all together.

  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In case you haven't heard the following - a bridal shower is intended to shower the bride with gifts.  If there are no physical gifts, then don't have a shower.  There's a reason everyone's cringing. 

    Look, I'm a long-distance bride.  I get it.  It's not easy to get all those gifts back home.  But really, it's on the bride to get those gifts home.  May I suggest she fly Southwest?  I was able to cart a ton of presents home because they don't charge baggage fees on the first bag.

    Lastly, people don't like being told what to buy.  So even if you say "Get them a giftcard to a restaurant" you're limiting what they can buy.  Some women have a tradition.  Maybe Aunt Millie buys the knives every time.  Whatever it might be, you shouldn't be telling them what to buy the bride. 

    Now, if she's that opposed to making the effort to get those gifts home, then you always have the option of hosting something that's not a shower.  You can host a bridal luncheon and just mingle with family, no presents involved.  But unless the bride will be showered with actual gifts, don't call it a shower.
  • edited December 2011
    Okay Ladies youve been a big help in drilling this into my head. I will just throw a regular shower with regualr gifts. Can anyone give me an idea of a shower theme where the gifts might be smaller in size? Like a kitchen gadget shower or something like that. Then I wouldnt feel so bad having her ship the gifts home...
    We'll make it better...the second time around.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How about instead of the BM's giving shower gifts, you all chip in and cover the cost of shipping for her as her shower gift?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Trixi...you are a genius!
    We'll make it better...the second time around.
  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_gift-card-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:1b1e2619-e2fe-4a39-860d-d2d63dbb7864Post:900f9c93-f9d8-4dc0-b5fc-02b8d59139f7">Re: Gift Card Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay Ladies youve been a big help in drilling this into my head. I will just throw a regular shower with regualr gifts. <strong>Can anyone give me an idea of a shower theme where the gifts might be smaller in size? Like a kitchen gadget shower or something like that.</strong>Then I wouldnt feel so bad having her ship the gifts home...
    Posted by MarriyingIntoIt[/QUOTE]

    This still limits what people buy, you are still telling them what to buy. I like the idea of the BM's pitching in to ship the gifts home though.

    Don't feel bad about it, you are doing a nice thing by throwing the shower, if it's too much of an inconvenience for the couple they can decline the shower all together.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    ditto Trix  : )

    OP - please don't tell the guests what type of gifts to bring. Hopefully, you are only inviting the bride's nearest and dearest friends and relatives to this shower. They are aware of her situation. Let them give whatever they want. You might be surprised that many of those guests will take the travel issue into consideration and they will select gifts accordingly.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    I don't know where your friend registered, but Crate and Barrel will ship all the gifts back for you.  I had my shower in Chicago but lived in Portland, and they re-wrapped everything and shipped it to me.  The things that weren't from C&B... well, I had to figure that one out.  I brought and extra suitcase to fill up, and then had to ship the rest of it.  Not the end of the world.
    Happily married since September 2010. :)
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