Pre-wedding Parties

The other family and the budget...and the list

We are going to have a larger wedding than anticipated due to the size of my FI family. My parents have adjusted when at first they were shocked it went from 150 to 250 fast, but we have budgeted it well and it's coming along very well.

My FMIL is starting to concern me, she got a good amount of people to put on there and mentioned that there were still people that would be hurt for not being on there. But we were able to keep her to her count.  She keeps saying she will contribute (she hasn't and doubt she will) so unless she does there is no need in my opinon to add another person.  She is hosting our couple shower for their family and I have heard the list for that is getting out of hand.  I am greatful that there are lot of family members and friends that want to shower us with gifts great, but I'm afraid there will be a number of people at that shower that were not on the list, and now will have to be added to the wedding invite list because that would be bad taste not to invite them to the wedding.

I feel this is sneaky and inconsiderate to my parents who are paying for this and I don't know the right way to address this help please! 

Re: The other family and the budget...and the list

  • edited December 2011
    Fi should be absolutely clear with his mother that she should not invite anyone to the shower that is not on the wedding guest list. Let's anticipate that she will say that she is hosting the shower and can't snub this relative or that friend, by not inviting them to the shower. Should that happen, it would be prudent to turn down her offer of hosting a shower for you. I have a feeling she will either concede to his point or that she will offer to pay for the additional wedding guests. If he accepts her offer, he should get the money before the invitations go out.

                       
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Agree with Maire.  If you do accept the shower, your FI needs to make sure his mom completely understands that anyone she invites to the shower that is not on the wedding guest list is her problem and they won't be added to it.  This will not reflect poorly on you as you are not hosting this and your FMIL would know exactly what she is doing.  Good luck and accept that shower cautiously.
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