How much is too much?

musicxstore

I think this is reasonable, but I want opinions... Is $65 from each bridesmaid too much to ask for to plan a bridal shower (since a few of them are in college)? In addition to the bridal shower, their dresses are $100 and I'm not requiring them to wear certain jewelry or shoes (so they have the option to wear something they already own). The only other expense they have is to get their hair done, which will be $30. So, overall, they'd be spending around $200 over the period of eleven months.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_much-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:2181f8f9-2c9c-4200-bca4-e87875ca0838Post:1dcbdb70-da8f-40ad-9de9-63da15036924">How much is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is reasonable, but I want opinions... Is $65 from each bridesmaid too much to ask for to plan a bridal shower (since a few of them are in college)? In addition to the bridal shower, their dresses are $100 and I'm not requiring them to wear certain jewelry or shoes (so they have the option to wear something they already own). The only other expense they have is to get their hair done, which will be $30. So, overall, they'd be spending around $200 over the period of eleven months.
Posted by musicxstore[/QUOTE]

First, are you the bride? Because it sounds like it and you really shouldn't be planning your own bridal shower. Also, if the bride is requiring them to get their hair done for the wedding day, she should really be paying for that.

Assuming (and hoping) that you aren't the bride, the polite thing to do would be to ask each BM separately if they would like to help host and contribute to the bridal shower. Then they can each offer whatever they feel comfortable with and do it in private so everyone else doesn't have to know. $65 may not be a lot to some people, but IMO that is a lot of money for a party.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_much-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:2181f8f9-2c9c-4200-bca4-e87875ca0838Post:1dcbdb70-da8f-40ad-9de9-63da15036924">How much is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is reasonable, but I want opinions... Is $65 from each bridesmaid too much to ask for to plan a bridal shower (since a few of them are in college)? In addition to the bridal shower, their dresses are $100 and I'm not requiring them to wear certain jewelry or shoes (so they have the option to wear something they already own). The only other expense they have is to get their hair done, which will be $30. So, overall, they'd be spending around $200 over the period of eleven months.
Posted by musicxstore[/QUOTE]

If you are the bride, you should not be asking your bms to throw a shower for you. Showers are gifts, not entitlements. If they want to throw a shower for you, let them work out the details. If they need your opinion on anything, such as the guest list or the date, they will let you know.

No one should be told how much they should chip in for the shower. The hosts of the shower should reach a mutual agreement on the amount, respecting each girls budget.

Unless the bride is paying the hair stylist, she should not require the bms to get their hair done. The best way to handle this is to leave it optional. Let the bms know that if they would like, the bride's stylist will do their hair for $30.

Good luck.