I'm the bride, but no one will plan my shower and bachelorette party

AndreaFunicello

No one in my bridal party, nor my friends, wants to host or plan a shower or bachelorette party for me. Would it be simply terrible to host them myself? Is it necessary to have them at all?

covejack

It would be really poor etiquette to host parties in your own honour.  Just have a girls night out, and don't call it a pre-wedding party at all.

No, it's not necessary to have either.  Lots of people don't.  Don't let it ruin the fun of your wedding planning.

Summer2011Bride

Yeah, it would be poor to host them yourself. No one is required to give you any parties or showers. If you just want to spend time with people, call up your girlfriends and have a girls' night out.

CassieeK

It's possible that none of them have the funds or time to put into planning and hosting and being responsible for a party.  Don't take it personally, and don't let it get you down.  Get together with some girls and go out.  It will just be like an "unspoken" bachelorette party.

hboo2011

Agree w all above. Kinda a bummer, not don't worry about it. The financial part may be the issue. Bachelorette parties and showers are not required. Please do not host your own. That is tacky. Just spend the time planning your wedding day!

Debbie4020

This is really unfortunate. As PPs have suggested, plan a girls night out and just really enjoy yourself. 

brittanyjterrell

My wedding is in 3 months and I am in the same boat, so I am taking it upon myself to have a little party with my FI, the groomsmen and my bridesmaids. We are all going bowling and to the movies. They all seem to love this idea and I really don't care much about them not being able to plan my pre-parties because I didn't even know exactly what a bridal shower was until today, never been to one!

OAN: I would never throw my own bachelorette or bridal party though, just have a nice night out.. I'm pretty sure it's money issues because that's what it is for my BMs.. they could barely get their dresses, so I'm not being a brat about it

tlbattaglia

I thought for sure this would bring some flaming remarks.  Glad it hasn't gone there.

I'm sorry you're going through this.  However, as pp said, these aren't mandatory.  And it doesn't look good if you host them yourself.  It looks like you're just looking for gifts. 

alleria

Don't feel bad, I'm about 7 weeks away from my wedding and am not having either of these parties. We aren't having a bridal party so that's part of the reason, and I just don't have any friends that are close enough to me to want to throw either of these parties.

It does get me down sometimes cause FI is most definiatly having a bachelor party thrown by his friends. At least he has people close enough to him.

I'm sure that it's money issues as well in my case with my friends. Plus my closest friend just had a baby not too long ago, so I completely understand.

alloquisha

Just because your MOH or BMs arent taking it on doesn't mean you have to miss out on the bachelorette party. It seems silly to me that the options are "be sad you missed the experience" or "be tacky and do it yourself." doesn't it seem a little outdated to expect friends (who probably live all over the place and have their own crazy schedules and money concerns) to plan it and pay for it? ultimately it's the special time together you probably want, not the gifts or the free dinner. Organize something fun/low-key, have your ATM card ready, and have a great time! If people think its tacky of you to want to have a special night out with your ladies before the wedding...so be it. I do think showers are another story, since they're based on getting showered with gifts. If you want quality time with some of the older women/family friends in your life, consider treating a small group to a bridal luncheon the day before your wedding.

MobKaz

alloquisha said:

Just because your MOH or BMs arent taking it on doesn't mean you have to miss out on the bachelorette party. It seems silly to me that the options are "be sad you missed the experience" or "be tacky and do it yourself." doesn't it seem a little outdated to expect friends (who probably live all over the place and have their own crazy schedules and money concerns) to plan it and pay for it? ultimately it's the special time together you probably want, not the gifts or the free dinner. Organize something fun/low-key, have your ATM card ready, and have a great time! If people think its tacky of you to want to have a special night out with your ladies before the wedding...so be it. I do think showers are another story, since they're based on getting showered with gifts. If you want quality time with some of the older women/family friends in your life, consider treating a small group to a bridal luncheon the day before your wedding.

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