How Do I Keep Everyone Happy??? HELP!

EpicSnoon

So, I realised the other day that while my fiance may be going to Amsterdam for his Stag Weekend (UK term for Bachelor Party), I can go somewhere awesome for my Hen Weekend (Bachelorette Party) too! So, I thought either Prague, Munich, or Budapest. I'm leaning towards Prague atm, depending on what's available in the way of flights and such.
HOWEVER....
. I REFUSE to bring his sister, on the grounds that she'll try to dominate the whole thing and expect everyone else to pay her way and generally ruin it. But at the same time, I don't want to hurt her feelings.
. There are older relatives who won't want to go on a three-day piss up possibly involving giant inflatable penises in Eastern europe (understandably).
. My mother can't be included in a quiet get-together for the older women because his family and the rest of my family hate her. But I want to include her in some way.

HELP!  All suggestions/advice on how to work this one out without upsetting or excluding anyone gratefully recieved! :-)

mcskatcat

This might be a cultural issue, but here in the States whoever offers to throw a shower for you would make those decisions.  In the States it would be rude to tell your hostess where you'd like to go, so I'm not sure if that's okay overseas or not.  

As far as the SIL goes, I would invite her.  I wish mine hadn't come to mine, in all honesty, but as snotty as she was she would have been deeply offended if she hadn't been invited, so I have no doubt she would still hold a grudge.  The invite can be extended, and at that time the hostess can say "here's what we're looking at costwise" which should get the point across that she is expected to pay her own way.  If she doesn't want to pay, then no is obliged to do so for her.

EpicSnoon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_how-do-i-keep-everyone-happy-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:2625e058-b258-463d-b09e-95eea40a7597Post:21a59ce6-bd94-48ff-b988-f5f372d36e84">Re: How Do I Keep Everyone Happy??? HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]This might be a cultural issue, but here in the States whoever offers to throw a shower for you would make those decisions.  In the States it would be rude to tell your hostess where you'd like to go, so I'm not sure if that's okay overseas or not.   As far as the SIL goes, I would invite her.  I wish mine hadn't come to mine, in all honesty, but as snotty as she was she would have been deeply offended if she hadn't been invited, so I have no doubt she would still hold a grudge.  The invite can be extended, and at that time the hostess can say "here's what we're looking at costwise" which should get the point across that she is expected to pay her own way.  If she doesn't want to pay, then no is obliged to do so for her.
Posted by mcskatcat[/QUOTE]

It must be a cultural thing, lol. Its pretty much OK for brides to organise their own Hen parties over here (in Northern Ireland, which is a strange little place<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />) and just let everyone pay their own flights and hotels. I have heard of chieft bridesmaids organising hen parties, but its always kind of with the bride, if you know what I mean? The only rule is that the Hen (bride) doesn't buy herself a drink the entire time. Also, it's not really like a shower in that people don't buy you present per se- just silly little things like L-plates and deely boppers, which you're expected to wear.

As for the SIL problem, even if I make it clear she has to pay her own way, she wouldn't have the money, and would be the kind of person who would show up at the airport on the day and be all "Right, where's my ticket?" and take huge offence at the fact that there wasn't one waoting for her. ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Sorry, Im a little stressed atm. My family are hugely dysfunctional, and his mum has it in for me. Apparently we should have a small wedding and no honeymoon because we already have a child!!!!! The woman is ridiculous.

Thank you, though- much appreciated :-)

redheadtmk

She can show up at the airport but that does not mean that you have to buy her a ticket. Give her the information about costs. Email her your flight information with a note saying if she wants to book her flight the same as yours and your friends here is the info, hope to see you there. Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

Ravenclaw79

I didn't think one usually invited mothers, on either side, to the bachelorette -- I thought those were just for the bride and her friends.