Gods hands

Jessehuff2012

its all in Gods hands

missfrodo

So...She's told you your shower will be an hour long, and you have to leave your own shower a 1/2 hour early to set up hers?  I would decline (respectfully) the shower she is throwing for you, but that's just me.  It seems like a lot of effort for your guests to buy a gift, show up to the shower, etc, just for a party that lasts 1/2 hour.  

You are also under no obligation to help with your friend's shower.  If you want to help plan and set up, you can volunteer to whoever is in charge; otherwise, you can elect to show up as a guest, or, if you are busy, send your regrets.  

I would probably stop talking about your own wedding with her for now, if you're worried about her taking your ideas or whatever.  She has her dress, so all she needs to know is when and where to show up for your wedding.  If she asks what you're doing for favors/decor/dancing/food, etc, just tell her you've got it covered and change the subject.  

TheVirginians

Do not leave your shower early. You are the honoree and need to be gracious to all and make all feel happy they took their time and money to honor and gift you.  Regret to the hostess of her shower that unfortunately you cannot make it as you have a "prior commitment".  You sound really kind and forgiving about everything else this girl is doing to one-up you, so I recommend what frodo said: stop talking about your own wedding with her for now.