Bridal Shower/Bachorette Party 85+ invites?!?!?!

suzanneashby

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OBX2011

Ummmm, can we say gift-grabby bride here?  That is a lot of people to invite to either function.

Does she think her WP is made of money b/c that is a lot of food, drinks, etc. to cover each guests.  She needs to invite her immediate family and the ones that are closest to her, not every single person she invited to the wedding. 

Read this:
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/bridal-shower-questions/qa/whos-invited-to-the-bridal-shower.aspx

Viczaesar

Yes, that's crazy, and you are not obligated to host that many people.  You should have given her a number of people that you and the other hosts could afford to host, not just a blank check, so to speak.  It's not too late though; you should go to the bride and explain that there was a misunderstanding or apologize for not being more clear about your restrictions when you asked for a guest list, and let her know how many people you can accommodate.  She can choose who from her original list makes the cut.

Really, though, the first thing you should do is sit down with the other co-hosts and discuss how much everyone is comfortable contributing (it does not have to be equal).  When you know what the budget is, then determine what kind of party and for how many people you can host with that budget.  Then go to the bride and discuss the guest list again.

MairePoppy

The hosts, not the bride, determine the number of guests invited to those events.

You and the others hosts should decide how much you are willing and able to spend on the shower/bachelorette. That's your budget.  Determine the number of guests you can host and let the bride know that she should trim her guest list down to X number of guests.

Even if the bride believes that 1/2 the guests will not show up, you have to plan and budget for 100% attendance.

sschnuck

After talking it over with the bride she still doesn't think this is a big deal. She keeps saying with 3 of us paying for it this shouldn't be an issue at all. She even admitting that she is inviting her fiance's co-worker's significate others...that she barely knows...just doesn't get the concept of the bridal shower being close friends and family not EVERYONE and their mom!

shellerenee24

Ok I have to say that I personally am having this many people. However before anyone bites my head off, this is not every person invited to the wedding. Nor is it any of my fi co-workers significant others ( THAT IS NUTS ). I didn't even invite any of my own co-workers. My Fi and I happen to have an extremely  large family. I'm talking my father has 14 siblings & his has 11. I strictly invited grandmothers, mothers, aunts, some cousins ( only the ones I speak to on a weekly basis) who also happen to be in the wedding and a few very close friends.  I also have 9 people splitting the expense.

For some one that doesn't have a freakishly large family, I think thats rediculous. Splitting between 3 people is tough even with a small guest list. You are not obligated in any way to to feed and hydrate all the extras. Do you know who most of the people are on her guest list. Could you possibly trim the list your self?

Another idea is to do a breakfast or a brunch, where the food I think is significantly cheaper.  On a side note, even though I'm having a very large shower , I'm not having a bachelorette party. I don't want one. I'm taking the girls that are hosting the shower out to dinner.

MairePoppy

Good grief! This bride sounds like a spoiled brat.

Tell her you that you can't afford to host the kind of shower she wants. If she isn't happy with what you have offered, then take your offer off the table. Don't hang around for the temper tantrum that is sure to follow.

Good luck.