Timeline for Bridal Shower

2012_bride

Our wedding will be March 31 2012 or April 28th 2012. Chances are more likely that it will be March 31.

My mom is talking about planning my bridal shower for this summer so that she can charter a boat and have a lunch cruise. If the shower was in late August 2011, that would make a 7 month/possibly 8 month gap between the shower and the wedding. Is that too long?

hlq2011

I don't mind early showers because of scheduing issues, but seven or eight months because of the venue choice for a shower is a little ridiculous, IMO.

Most showers are 2, maybe three months in advance of the wedding.

2012_bride

Well she's very excited about it, so I'm not going to burst her bubble.

We have two weddings in the fall so the shower shouldn't be near those, and then there's Christmas. Really late summer would be the best time for us.

hlq2011

Okay, so what were you looking for then, if you're going to do it anyway?  Not to be bitchy... I'm confused.

Edit to add: Just make sure you have your guest list that early, or don't invite anyone you're on the fence about to the shower.  Shower invite = wedding invite

2012_bride

I just wanted to know if the gap seemed too long. So in your opinion (and I'm sure in others) it does. I guess that's all I needed to know.

Either way, the venue is too beautiful to pass up so I'm willing to go against "the etiqutte norm" for it...and to keep my mom happy.

I'm sure people will forget about the timeline if it really bothers them, once we start having fun. It's better than sitting in a hall or a room of someone's house.

And yes of course we'd only invite people who would be invited to the wedding. We don't have a large guest list so it shouldn't cause problems.

jilld82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_timeline-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:367ec25b-1193-4ef5-8e35-364a2d8f72c3Post:2091782d-4c83-4e8a-9b52-b120add2e52d">Re: Timeline for Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I just wanted to know if the gap seemed too long. So in your opinion (and I'm sure in others) it does. I guess that's all I needed to know. <strong>Either way, the venue is too beautiful to pass up so I'm willing to go against "the etiqutte norm" for it...and to keep my mom happy. I</strong>'m sure people will forget about the timeline if it really bothers them, once we start having fun. It's better than sitting in a hall or a room of someone's house. And yes of course we'd only invite people who would be invited to the wedding. We don't have a large guest list so it shouldn't cause problems.
Posted by 2012_bride[/QUOTE]


Um so why did you even ask?

2012_bride

Definitely not to be bombarded by rudeness like this.

Like I said, I wanted to know if people thought it was acceptable although it I never said it would change my opinion if people thought it wasn't an appropriate timeline. I thought I explained that in my last post.

Some things (like seeing my mom happy) are more important to me than pleasing the bitches that might judge my timeline when the time comes.

hlq2011

Wow, that was totally uncalled for.

You asked a question, and you got your answers.

It's just kind of irritating to be asked a question and then be told that, although you asked, you really don't give a damn about the answer and you're going to do what you want regardless.

HappinessByTheKilowatt

No, it's not okay, and I wouldn't attend a shower for someone eight months before their wedding. So many things can happen between that date and the wedding day. There's your answer.

rknox88

That gap is too long and a breech of etiquette. You realize you will need to store all those gifts without using them, right? Because you really shouldn't use wedding (or shower) gifts until you are married.

By posting the question -is it too long?- you yourself indicate you already know the answer. So don't ask a question you know the answer to only to snap back with a 'well, i don't give a damn what you think.' type of response.

FWIW I would not attend a shower for a bride whose wedding is so far away. It seems like a grab for attention since it isn't because of people's schedules but rather so you and your mom can have your pretty venue.

And you weren't bombarded with rudeness, well, until now, but I guess you get what you dish out.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_timeline-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:367ec25b-1193-4ef5-8e35-364a2d8f72c3Post:33049049-70f0-4239-9735-549bbe2b2e91">Re: Timeline for Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely not to be bombarded by rudeness like this. Like I said, I wanted to know if people thought it was acceptable although it I never said it would change my opinion if people thought it wasn't an appropriate timeline. I thought I explained that in my last post. Some things (like seeing my mom happy) are more important to me than pleasing the bitches that might judge my timeline when the time comes.
Posted by 2012_bride[/QUOTE]

No one was rude to you., so why get nasty?

2012_bride

I'm not throwing the shower for myself, so it's not an attention grabber. And the excuse that you don't know what will happen in that time is ridiculous. I've been with my fiance for 5 years (living together for 4), I don't think anything will happen in a 7 month period during which, we're planning on spending our lives together.

I do not want gifts at my bridal shower and the people close to me are going to spread the word. We've been living together for so long and don't need any of it. So the shower is not a gift grab. It will just be a fun thing for all of the women, in a fun and unique atmosphere thrown by my MOM.

I've been to showers where the bride paid for, and planned her entire shower at a banquet hall. At least I am not doing that. I am letting my mom do what will make her happy, and going with the flow.

hlq2011

If you don't want gifts, don't have a damn shower.  Showers are for gifts.  Have a luncheon or some other such event, but eight months is still too early.

You asked and you got answers you didn't like.  Happens all the time.  You shouldn't have aksed if you didn't actually give a damn what the answers were.  Why waste everyone's time?

2012_bride

Whoa! Fiesty! lol

If people don't want to show up because it's a few months early, I'll understand. I'll see if that happens.

Thanks. haha.

lamar0607

Yeah if you don't want gifts- then just don't call it a shower. Just throw a fun party for all the women in your life. Or can you call it an engagement party?

Either way- I'd leave the word "shower" out of the equation- and just make a fun day.

AbbyAlex

Yea people on here tend to get very upset over everyone else's weddings lol. I got told I had to deal with the consquences because I'm having a private ceramony and a big reception (apparently she was very angry that I called it a reception, How dare I? ) Lol. Just laugh it off. They're very dramatic. Cracks me up.