Pre-wedding Parties

Presents for a Bachlorette I am not even attending!!

Help!  My SIL is getting married in August and I have no desire to go to her bacholorette party with a bunch of stupid drunk girls in Vegas so I politely declined saying I just don't have the money to go away for a weekend. 

Than my MIL asked what I was giving my SIL for her bahlorette present...  I am not sure what to do here.  I don't want to be rude but I have already stated many times that I am on a limited budget and can't afford a lot right now.  They have already had an engament shower and are having a wedding shower on top of the wedding in which they have asked for presents.  I just feel like they are just making a grab for gifts.

Please help!! 

Re: Presents for a Bachlorette I am not even attending!!

  • You are not required to give a present for a bachelorette even if you were attending, so I would skip that.  And frankly it's none of MIL's business.  Have you mentioned this to your H?  
  • I wouldn't worry about getting her a present. Maybe you could get her some cute white panties or something fun that is inexpensive?
  • You're not obligated to give her a gift. It really is not MIL's business at all. I would just deflect the question by saying something vague like "I haven't really thought about it." That's noncomittal, not a yes I'm getting her something or a No, I'm not. Then change the subject.


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  • Don't give her anything. B parties are not gift giving events.
     
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  • i2012doi2012do member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited May 2012
    Normally if you don't attend you ont have to give her anything. I'm sure her friends are paying for her and that's their "gift". And it's not mils business, though maybe she wasn't asking to be mean spirited. With that said she is your future sister in law. Could you send along a card and small token gif? It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just something to acknowledge you are sorry you couldn't make it. Like a gift certificate to Victoria's secret, some perfume, or even something homemade. Or a bottle of champagne. A bride to be sash would cost under ten bucks and b a nice thought
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  • Don't worry about it. Your MIL was rude for asking.

    I'm not going to be able to make it to my friend's bridal shower because it's scheduled the same day as my sister's. I'll be dropping off her gift the day before but that's my choice and what I was already planning on doing.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_presents-for-a-bachlorette-i-am-not-even-attending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:3b065b3f-2912-40a4-b7ad-15b586899e8bPost:ad287c22-3ebe-4297-8fff-073d41ec3abc">Presents for a Bachlorette I am not even attending!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Help!  My SIL is getting married in August and I have no desire to go to her bacholorette party <strong>with a bunch of stupid drunk girls in Vegas</strong> so I politely declined saying I just don't have the money to go away for a weekend.  Than my MIL asked what I was giving my SIL for her bahlorette present...  I am not sure what to do here.  I don't want to be rude but I have already stated many times that I am on a limited budget and can't afford a lot right now.  They have already had an engament shower and are having a wedding shower on top of the wedding in which they have asked for presents.  I just feel like they are just making a grab for gifts. Please help!! 
    Posted by Honey+Bear[/QUOTE]

    You do not need to give a gift, and it is perfectly acceptable to decline the bachelorette.  However, I think you need an attitude adjustment.
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