DELETED

jashleya

Thanks for the advice.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pre-wedding-parties-someone-having-private-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:3c768997-bc5a-40bf-88d5-8fedce5dc970Post:e646e632-ad50-42e6-a7a8-0cf92f7cad34">Pre-wedding parties for someone who is having a private ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning on having a private ceremony this April in DC.  We will not be having any guests, just us and our officiant.  We have chosen to have such a wedding for numerous reasons.  I made this choice knowing that I would forego having a shower, bachelorette party, and reception. However, I just got off the phone with one of my three cousins who said that she (along with her two sisters) would like to host a shower and bachelorette party for me in our hometown. I'm touched by this unexpected gesture, but at a loss as to what to do.  <strong>I know that you shouldn't invite people to a shower that haven't been invited to the ceremony and reception.  I also think it would be rude to turn down their offer. </strong> Any advice? (As a sidenote, if a shower were to take place the only people who were invited would be the three of them, their mother, my mom, and a few of my mom's closest friends.  A bachelorette party would only be myself and the three of them). 
Posted by jashleya[/QUOTE]
It wouldn't be rude for you to turn down their offer. And you already know why because you said it. "<strong>you shouldn't invite people to a shower that haven't been invited to the ceremony and reception. "

</strong>You can try a simple, "Thank you so much for the offer, but as you know, we are having a private ceremony, so there won't be any pre wedding parties. But thank you again for offering."

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pre-wedding-parties-someone-having-private-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:3c768997-bc5a-40bf-88d5-8fedce5dc970Post:a2ce1755-21c0-4eaf-8ea5-902991760e64">Re: Pre-wedding parties for someone who is having a private ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for the advice. I will tell them that I cannot accept their offer.  Since they have offered, I think it would be nice to let them do something to celebrate my wedding, however, so as to avoid  hurt feelings and misunderstanding.  My family will not understand why they can't host something.  I will likely come off as snobby or unappreciatvie by refusing their offer.
Posted by jashleya[/QUOTE]
Do they not know it's going to be a private ceremony?

kimberlyb122

Go for it! It is lovely that your family wants to celebrate with you.