Pre-wedding Parties

etiquette- suggesting gift cards

I am throwing a shower for a friend..They aren't planning to register anywhere, but she said they'd love gift cards to BBB or Target. 

So, I won't be listing registry info, but Is there any appropriate way to gently suggest gift cards on the invitations?
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Re: etiquette- suggesting gift cards

  • edited December 2011
    If they don't want physical gifts and haven't registered, they shouldn't have a shower. I would not attend any shower at which gift cards were suggested or recommended. The main attraction of the shower is to watch the bride open the gifts, so I would be offended if you made me feel bad for wanting that (although guests can certainly electively choose to bring GCs).
  • edited December 2011
    I think she's still allowed to have a shower.  I thought registries were just a way to give suggestions.  

    She didn't say she didn't want physical gifts.. I'm sure she'd be fine with any wrapped gifts, lingerie, whatever-- but if people WERE to be looking for some direction, I'd like to be able to suggest gift cards.  If there's no appropriate way to do that, I'll leave any registry/gift suggestion info out entirely.
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  • edited December 2011
    Going to a shower to watch someone ooh and ahh over a bunch of gift cards does not like sound like a fun time. Besides, it would be really poor etiquette to list off the amount, so it's going to be weird.

    I would go ahead and assume that if they aren't registering, they really don't want any gifts. The registry is for suggestions of things that would like, but it's really difficult to pull a gift idea out of thin air and hope they don't already have that item.

    If you're really insistent on doing a shower, come up with a theme, like kitchen basics (if they need those) or do a recipe shower where people can share favorites from their kitchen and start out their married cookbook or stock their wine cabinet. Of course, there still won't be a lot of opening of gifts, so it's going to be more food and chit chat than anything else.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011

    I'd just mention the stores where she likes to shop.  If someone says, "Well what should I get?" then say, "Well here are some ideas but you could always go with a gift card if you're not sure."

    That's something to say verbally - not in writing.

  • edited December 2011
    I like waltzingmatilda's idea of having some kind of theme to the shower, so at least people will be somewhat guided in what to bring.  Also, registries are a way to give suggestions and help avoid duplicates.  If the bride agrees to a kitchen basics shower, for example, she might end up with 10 ladles or something. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_etiquette-suggesting-gift-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:3cb2a5aa-d27c-48c5-be80-281b3fade7fdPost:e2f409be-f2e2-4252-8a47-a584546e320e">Re: etiquette- suggesting gift cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd just mention the stores where she likes to shop.  If someone says, "Well what should I get?" then say, "Well here are some ideas but you could always go with a gift card if you're not sure." That's something to say verbally - not in writing.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    Good idea!  Thanks
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  • edited December 2011
    It's a bit tough with no registry, but I think the point of a shower is a celebration--getting together with the girls to eat and chat. When I attend a shower, I always like to get a thank-you card from the bride, but the gift-opening is in my opinion, less fun than chatting enjoying everyone's company--especially if there are tons of people and you are watching gift-opening for an hour!  Just try to make it a fun time for eveyone, and I think it's a great idea to suggest gift cards if you are asked. 
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If she likes BBB or Target why doesn't she just choose some items for people to get her?
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  • edited December 2011
    I am with PP. I don't get why she doesn't just register at BBB and Target? I mean, if she gets GC's there, she will go make purchases there, so she might as well just register for some of the items she would purchase with GC's.

    A shower is about showering the bride with gifts--physical gifts. If she doesn't want any, she should decline a shower. Or you could do a PP's suggestion of having a recipe shower or something of that nature. But it might be a good idea for her to have a small registry anyways. She runs the risk of guests picking things out for themselves that may not be her taste or she may end up with duplicates. At least with a registry, she is giving guests guidance on what she likes.


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