Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal shower advice

I'm getting married mid-March. 
I have friends & family all over the state.  My sister & mom want to throw me a bridal shower, but I'm in Texas, so some people are really, really far away. It's hard enough for them to come to the wedding; I don't want to ask them to come to a bridal shower too; especially since, if I have everyone I want there, it would still only be like15 people.  Not a big shower.
Well, one of my friends (not in the wedding party) volunteered to throw a shower on that side of the state (so it would just be me traveling), and then I could have a shower here on this side of the state, and I could see everyone.

Problem: it's only 7 weeks til my wedding now, and there's only a couple of weekends that work for me between now and wedding day.  So we (my family) started talking, and the idea was brought up that maybe I could do a bridal shower the night before my wedding.  Everyone would be in town and everyone would already be hanging out.
I am not having an official rehearsal dinner. We're just inviting all our guests over to my house to hang out & such.  Very casual.

What does everyone think?  Good idea? Bad idea?

Note: This is NOT about presents, and this is not about whether this is good etiquette.  I just want to know, has anyone done this? and how did it go?

Re: Bridal shower advice

  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I had a lingerie shower 2 days before my wedding.  I had already had a traditional family shower--this was more like a girls' night out with my work friends.  We just  had dinner and then had the shower in my hotel suite.  It was a blast.

    If you're just going to be hanging out with guests the night before anyway, I don't see why you couldn't do it.  Just keep it low key and simple and don't have 3 glasses of champagne like I did.
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's a good idea really.  I mean, people will already be giving you gifts for the wedding, it seems strange to also hold another gift giving event the night before the wedding.  At least with a typical shower, it's spread out by a few months.

    I'm a little bit confused on why a shower wouldn't work on another weekend?  I don't really understand where your family and friends are in relation to you or why you need to two showers. Your post was a little confusing.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would be too overwhelmed to do anything the day before the wedding. Personally, I don't want to do anything too elaborate the day before.
  • edited December 2011
    Even though you stated above that your delimma wasn't about presents it was about ettiquette... you have to remember that it is bad ettiquette for your guests not to bring a gift to both the shower and the wedding.  So it is my opinion that having the shower so close to wedding could be financially overwhelming for some guests.
    I would give up my 2 free weekends to have the seperate showers... I mean isn't that what the weekend is for? Spending time with friends and family?
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Having to purchase two gifts so close together might put unnecessary financial strain on your guests, especially those that are dealing with traveling expenses for the actual wedding.

    I'd give up a free weekend to have it, or decline.  Not everyone has to attend a shower for you.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think you should have the one planned shower, and call it good.  As others have said, it's really inconsiderate for your guests to have two back to back parites where different gifts are expected.  It's going to come across as gift grabby on your part.

    And I can absolutely promise you that you are NOT going to want to have a shower the afternoon or evening before your wedding.  There is so much going on that day, and so many emotions.  The last thing you and your friends need to be thinking about is decorating/food/guests for a party.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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