Pre-wedding Parties

engagement party registry?

we just got engaged a couple of weeks ago and my MIL is throwing us an engagement party over labor day. She wants us to register at Target right away so people can bring a gift to the party. Since we are planning on getting married August 2012, I thought it would seem presumptuous and greedy to register this early and basically ask for gifts for the engagement party AND the shower and wedding. We asked her to write "no gifts, please" on the invitations, but she did not, and she already mailed them out.

Which is less rude--NOT registering yet, so there is no presumption or expectation that people get us gifts for this party, or registering now so that they don't have to worry or wonder what to get us if they feel compelled to get us a gift?

Re: engagement party registry?

  • Lauren19.Lauren19. member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gifts aren't expected at an engagement party, so don't register. If people want to give you something that's fine. If you Google engagement party etiquette I'm sure you can find something to show MIL to get her to back-off the registry idea. 
  • edited December 2011
    I actually think it's best she left off the "No gifts, please." Even though your intention truly is that you don't want people bringing them, I just think that sounds sort of....off. Like you want to put the thought of a gift in people's minds, but have them think you really don't want any, but then they get one anyway. I don't know. That probably made no sense but I am glad she sent them without that.

    Anyhow, I think not registering is fine. I didn't have an e-party so I have no idea if people typically bring gifts and what they bring. If they want to bring you something, they will. Some may just bring a card; others could bring cash. If they want a physical gift, they may ask you if you've registered and you can just say you haven't yet. Perhaps they'd decide to get you something else in that situation. Either way, I think you are fine this early not registering.


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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think it's appropriate to register for an engagement party.  Also, if you did, you'd have gifts sitting around for over a year b/c you shouldn't use gifts before the actual wedding.
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  • teacup0618teacup0618 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just not register. If people want to bring gifts they will, but if you register they will feel more required to bring one.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yep, I agree with pp's.  It would have been rude to mention gifts in the invite, even "no gifts please".  Don't register for the eparty.  If people want to give you gifts, they will.
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