Engagement Party

afrenchprincess1

Hello All,
I'm newly enegaged and FI and I want to have an engagement party! Very casual at my house with  Hors d'oeuvresand wine. Some fun, talking, and eating with friends and family.We don't want gifts and we want everyone to just come and celebrate with us! We're looking at about 10-15 people at our house one evening. From what I have read about engagement partie it was traditionally hosted by the bride's father or parents. But according to wikepedia....I know, I know LOL! Modern couples are hosting their own. And my mom won't throw a thing like this and my father is dead. Plus,  I don't want it to be like an party! Just sharing our love and enjoying time with us.
What do you guys think about that?

hboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:51488d76-4162-4df8-bd7b-7d09a79fa35cPost:9089a3f5-3bf5-4388-92dd-d488a73948ed">Engagement Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello All, I'm newly enegaged and FI and I want to have an engagement party! Very casual at my house with  Hors d'oeuvres and wine. Some fun, talking, and eating with friends and family.We don't want gifts and we want everyone to just come and celebrate with us! We're looking at about 10-15 people at our house one evening. From what I have read about engagement partie it was traditionally hosted by the bride's father or parents. But according to wikepedia....I know, I know LOL! Modern couples are hosting their own. And my mom won't throw a thing like this and my father is dead. Plus,  I don't want it to be like an party! Just sharing our love and enjoying time with us. What do you guys think about that?
Posted by afrenchprincess1[/QUOTE]

Anyone is allowed to add to wikipedia. Please don't host your own engagement party. If you want to invite friends over for a party, fine. Just leave 'engagement' out of it.

afrenchprincess1

What is the problem hosting your own engagement party? We are not asking for gifts and I always thought when you had an event that required gift giving i.e baby showers you don't plan them yourself. But we aren't. I just want to know the etiquette behind it.

afrenchprincess1

This is what I found on The Knot website about it http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/qa/whos-hosts-engagement-party.aspx

cpm1223

Its very rude to host ANY party in your honor. Have a get together with your friends if you want JUST DON"T call is an engagement party and leave ANYTHING that has to do with your engagement/wedding etc. out of it.

banana468

Just host a get together.  It would not be appropriate to throw any party in your own honor but you can certainly throw a shindig for the sake of a party.

covejack

Don't go by what you read on TK website.  It's rude to host a party in your own honour.  How about just having those people over, but don't call it an engagement party?

drewandkayla

Technically, we held our own (no gifts allowed), but we considered it more of an informal party as opposed to the traditional engagement party/celebration. We held it the night before a big in-state football game and called it our "Engagement Tailgate Party" (tailgate munchies, beer, etc). We clearly specified on the invites that no gifts were allowed and we just wanted to celebrate! People had an absolute blast and about 50 people were there.
I think as long as you specify no gifts, it sounds like you're just looking for a good reason to throw a party and invite over some great friends - what better reason to party than your engagement?!

mandi921vh

You can't host your own party, it's considered rude.

RebeccaB88

Just have friends over for a get-together. If someone wants to see your ring, show them. 

rnsoon

I guess Im going to be the only one to say that if I had friend get engaged and invited us to a celebration that was hosted themselves I would totally go and enjoy myself and celebrate with them. I dont think Its rude to say PS: we dont want gifts, just people we love to share the excitement with us (plus its a good excuse for a party!) I dont know. I never went to etiquette classes or cotillion or any of that fancy stuff so Im just a regular ol young woman

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:51488d76-4162-4df8-bd7b-7d09a79fa35cPost:c51356b8-6eba-47be-9de7-35090948a3dc">Re: Engagement Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess Im going to be the only one to say that if I had friend get engaged and invited us to a celebration that was hosted themselves I would totally go and enjoy myself and celebrate with them. I dont think Its rude to say PS: we dont want gifts, just people we love to share the excitement with us (plus its a good excuse for a party!) I dont know. I never went to etiquette classes or cotillion or any of that fancy stuff so Im just a regular ol young woman
Posted by houndpuppy1[/QUOTE]

I didn't take etiquette classes either.  I was just taught what is and isn't appropriate behavior.

FWIW, I'd go to an engagement party if a friend hosted her own.  That isn't the point.  The point is that you shouldn't do it in the first place.

rnsoon

I just dont think it would be a huge deal especially since nobody is around to do it for her. Having not a lot of family and my mom not exactly involved like most parents i guess, I can understand where she is. My mom is great, she just isnt the type to get involved (like it would have been great to have advice when applying for college and things like that). She was very much into my horseshowing though.. Btw- I live near Richmond. The asshattery I experience everyday is just mind blowing, Im telling you. Nothing southern about it really aside from its history..

banana468

It doesn't really matter if you don't have anyone around to do it for you.  I understand that it's a bummer when you don't have someone there to host for you but life isn't always fair.  You don't get to do it yourself when no one offers for you.

rnsoon

Ok OP i think the majority of these ladies agrees not to have a party for yourself. So as suggested maybe have a party for the sake of having a party and you can maybe toast that youre excited to be engaged and glad all your guests came, etc. Or go to dinner with them. Or dont do anything. Lastly..you could just have the party as im sure many others have, and not report back here O.O *creeping away*

julzy

We're having our engagement party at our place but it will be "hosted" by my divorced parents.  We're having no more than 20 people. It's just an opportunity to get the families together and celebrate.

To be perfectly honest, I'm planning the whole thing with some tiny input from my mother but the invites are going out in my parents name/rsvps will go to my mother.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have parents who are super involved but we still want to celebrate a special day... At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you should do what feels right to you. You can have something casual at your place with or without another host like we're doing.  You're engaged! It's definitely something to celebrate!

sarita86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:51488d76-4162-4df8-bd7b-7d09a79fa35cPost:e507f6f1-1f9a-40b1-9275-381f07d8f7ef">Re: Engagement Party</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having our engagement party at our place but it will be "hosted" by my divorced parents.  We're having no more than 20 people. It's just an opportunity to get the families together and celebrate. To be perfectly honest, I'm planning the whole thing with some tiny input from my mother but the invites are going out in my parents name/rsvps will go to my mother. Not all of us are lucky enough to have parents who are super involved but we still want to celebrate a special day... At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you should do what feels right to you. You can have something casual at your place with or without another host like we're doing.  You're engaged! It's definitely something to celebrate!
Posted by julzy[/QUOTE]

I agree.

blairmychaltyler

What is the exact reasoning for an Engagement Party? To announce your engagement? Im confused as to what the REAL reasoning is. So do I not have an EP and just go staright to wedding rehearsals or how does that work. What if you are planning the wedding yourself, or you dont have anyone who is willing to throw you an EP...or how about this bright idea: Throw ourselves an engagement party and out it in the names of our bestfriends OR help our bestfriends plan it? How does all o this work. Im confused!