I thought this was common wedding ettiquette knowledge, but apparently its not. Within the last year and a half, I have been invited to THREE different bridal showers/bachelorette parties, even though I'm not invited to the wedding! I think this is BEYOND rude. "hey buy me presents and spend money to come party with me but you aren't important enough to invite to the wedding!".
the first girl invited me to her bridal shower and bachelorette. I had to work on her bridal shower, which she kept bugging me to TAKE THE DAY OFF on or CALL IN SICK! then her MoH kept harassing me to see if I was coming to the bachelorette, then she wanted me to chip in on renting a limo to go down to the club, saying the limo was $35 each. At this point I was feeling so much peer pressure I agreed. THEN she changed the price of the limo saying "it ended up being $65 each" (plus dinner and a two drink minimum to the club) and I got PISSED and told her I couldn't come. I had another friend who also wasn't invited to the wedding (which was out of town) and she ended up going and said she felt awkward the whole time because everyone was discussing their travel arrangements and saying how excited they were.
The second girl invited me to her bachelorette only, but it was a day I had to work.
Most recently, last week I get an email from this girl's MoH saying I was invited to a coworkers bachelorette party. At this point I was beyond irritated at all these faux pas, I had kept quiet the first couple of times, so I emailed her back and said "hey thanks for the invite but I'm not invited to the wedding" - short and sweet. Not to mention I'm barely even WORK ACQUAINTANCES with this girl. Well the bride somehow interpreted that into "I AM VERY UPSET AND MY FEELINGS ARE EXTREMELY HURT AND I'M MAD AT/HATE YOU".
She called me (don't even know how she got my #) and left a really long rambling message saying "wow i'm so sorry your feelings were sooo hurt and i'm sorry that i upset you, look I didn't think you were even interested in coming to my wedding but I thought you were down to party with me so i'll tell you what i'll have an invitation all wrapped up with a bow for you in your box at work by next week, so make sure to check it." - it was very passive aggressive. THEN she said "anyway I thought you were ADDING your name to Sheri's invite [one of my friends who mentioned ONCE she might take me as her date if her husband couldn't go]" making ME sound like the rude one!
the whole thing has me more irritated than it should, now my two best friends are also invited to the bachelorette BUT they were also invited to the wedding from the get go, they are harassing me and pressuring me nonstop to go with them so all three of us can have a blast together, but I have absolutely zero interest in going. Maybe its the principle or whatever, but I'm so over this whole situation and everyone's making ME feel like I'M being the ridiculous one. Am I completely wrong for feeling this way??