Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal shower dilemma

I have a bridal shower dilemma and need some advice.  My FI and I are having 2 wedding celebrations.  We are having a small ceremony and reception in a neighboring state, and then having a marriage blessing (followed by a casual reception) at my mother's church (nearer to where we live) a couple weeks later.  The guest lists for the two events will be separate other than our immediate families.  My mom wants to throw me a shower and wants to include the people who are coming to the blessing but not the wedding.  It seems weird to me to have a shower including people that are only invited to the blessing.  I'm not sure if I should have a shower that includes both groups, separate showers for the twho events, or a shower for only the people who are coming to the wedding.  The last option is the one that makes the most sense to me, but not to my mom.  To throw another wrench in this, my mom also doesn't want to have to pay for "her" shower by herself and wants my bridesmaids (who would be invited) to contribute. Thoughts? 

Re: Bridal shower dilemma

  • edited December 2011
    Asking others to pay for a shower one is "hosting" is pretty rude.

    I'm not quite sure about your other question, but I would be on the safe side and only invite wedding guests to the shower, ESPECIALLY because your mother is being weird about "her" shower. By the way, who would host the "wedding guest" shower? If it's your BMs, than it would be especially rude to ask them to pay for another shower.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    For the shower, your mom can invite anyone who is invited to the wedding. If the 'blessing guests' are invited to the actual wedding, but are declining for their own reasons, then they can be invited to the shower.

    Your mom should not ask the bms to contribute to the shower. If they want to help, they will let her know.
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    edited December 2011
    well, quite often it's the MOH, and NOT the MOB who throws the shower... now it's more common to have a family member doing it, but the old rule of whoever's hosting is paying still holds. My Aunt is dying to throw the shower, and my bridesmaids were looking forward to throwing me one, and thankfully they are all happy and willing to work together so I don't have to sort out any of that out.

    You can always just tell your mom that traditionally it's not a family member who throws the shower and try to get out of having issues that way.
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