Pre-wedding Parties

Should a bride who owns a home have a shower?

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this topic...
I am 26, have lived in my own home for about 2 years. My home has been furnished with cheap things I've bought myself and various hand me downs, not anything fancy by any means. FI will be moving in with me about a year before our wedding date. Is it tacky for a couple who own a home to have a shower? FMIL seems to think so...
My MOH has mentioned that she would like to throw me a shower, and I'm sure my mom would like to plan something too. Does this look like I am a greedy gift grabber? And do you think FMIL will be pissed at me if my MOH throws a shower and invites her and her side of the family?
Thanks in advance ladies!
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Re: Should a bride who owns a home have a shower?

  • edited December 2011
    I have no idea what your FMIL will do, people get upset for all sorts of reasons.

    Just because you are responsible enough to own a home (not that people who rent are necessarily irresponsible) doesn't mean you can't accept someone's offer to throw you a shower. I don't think two showers is excessive also long as when the hosts ask for guestlists you don't invite guests to both (other than maybe immediate family,and BP if they really want to come).

  • tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_should-bride-owns-home-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:568ee395-1f2a-4669-b073-c75360a4d3f0Post:016e6685-6ef2-4f43-89d0-548785e4dec2">Re: Should a bride who owns a home have a shower?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have no idea what your FMIL will do, people get upset for all sorts of reasons. Just because you are responsible enough to own a home (not that people who rent are necessarily irresponsible) doesn't mean you can't accept someone's offer to throw you a shower. I don't think two showers is excessive also long as when the hosts ask for guestlists you don't invite guests to both (other than maybe immediate family,and BP if they really want to come).
    Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • edited December 2011
    You absolutely can have a shower even though you already own a home. As you said, you filled it with cheaper items and what you could afford at the time probably wasn't what you wanted to buy, so now it the time to get those better items. People register for items to upgrade all the time and there's no problem with that. If you FMIL is that upset about it, so doesn't have to attend.

    As far as 2 showers, I think that's fine as long as the guests lists don't overlap, beccause then you will look gift grabby inviting the same people to 2 different showers. Try to combine them if you can.
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I see no reason why you wouldn't have a shower, unless you were to decline the offer on your own. DH and I had lived on our own for years and I still had a shower. Because like you mentioned, we had a lot of stuff, but it was cheap stuff that we had accumulated over the years, no matching sets, etc.. It was so nice to receive matching higher quality items to make it feel more like a home instead of a college dorm per say.

    Out of the 4 weddings I went to this past year, all 4 of the brides already lived on their own, and 2 of them owned their own homes and they all had bridal showers. If it's your first wedding, you are definitely entitled to a bridal shower. HTH!
  • edited December 2011
    We had our house for about six months before my showers ( one on my side, one his family threw.)  I don't see anything offensive about it.  

    The point of a shower is to shower the couple with gifts.  No matter what your living situation is, I think you could always use new things and I don't think people should be offended by that.  

    Is your FMIL also telling you not to register as well?  Because under her logic you don't need any new things at all.  I would ask her before adding any of her relatives to the guest list.  And ask her to point out to you where in an etiquette book it says that responsible home-owning individuals shouldn't have bridal showers thrown in their honor.
  • loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I think you should have a shower. There's your chance to upgrade items you'd like and need for your home.

    Lots of couples live together and own an apartment/home before their wedding date.

  • stephasuasustephasuasu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Upgrade all your stuff! People WANT to buy you gifts. Think of all your friends and family members who's showers you have attended, you go because you want to shower them with gifts. After you have your shower, have a garage sale with all your old things and put the extra cash towards your guests (or your new life together, we just threw it towards our wedding.).  We ended up getting a photo booth last minute for our wedding with the extra cash. 
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs and would also like to add that an invitation is not a subpoena. The invitees are free to accept or decline the shower invitation, as they see fit.
    I think you should accept the shower, if one is offered.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    You can totally have a shower. I bought a condo two years ago, although not a house, but furnished it with cheap things and mix and match furniture that I had in college or that my parents were getting rid of. If someone is offering to host one, you can totally say yes. No worries!
  • edited December 2011
    i agree with PP. have showers! people want to celebrate you and give you gifts. if they don't want to attend multiple showers or buy multiple gifts, then they won't.

    as far as who's invited for showers, when you accept/decline a shower, that's the time to speak up, IMHO. i was upfront with my BMs when they offering a lingere shower, and originally declined, telling them thank you, but that i'd prefer something that I would be comfortable including all of my family in as well. they came back and offered a kitchen shower closer to the wedding to include everyone :)
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you can have a shower.  That's a little different than your question "Should" you have a shower.  I personally think you should, as long as someone's willing to host it in your honor.  GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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