Pre-wedding Parties

Fiance's bachelor party in Vegas...think he might cheat...

My fiance is in Las Vegas this weekend for his bachelor party with 4 of his best friends. I was fine with it because I trust him and he promised me nothing would happen and they were going to gamble and drink and bet on the Final Four games. I have only met 3 of his friends once, and haven't met the other one (his best friend because he lives across the country). My fiance called me today and seemed to be acting weird...sort of distant or preoccupied. That got me worried...then I was looking at our phone bill and saw a number in Las Vegas that he was calling and texting yesterday. I know he doesn't know anyone in Vegas, so I looked the number up and it turns out that it is a girl in Vegas...why is he calling and texting some girl in Vegas??? I don't know what to do...if I ask him about it he will want to know how I found out and then there will be a huge fight because I looked at the bill and searched the number. I refuse to marry someone who had a fling on his bachelor party...but I called him and said I had a gut feeling something wasn't right and he assured me that he loves me and would do nothing to hurt me. I just don't know what to do...

Re: Fiance's bachelor party in Vegas...think he might cheat...

  • If you don't have a conversation, you're probably going to always wonder, have freak outs, and constantly check his phone records.  It could be nothing, but it could be something.  Obviously it would suck if he had a fling, but if it were me I'd rather know about it before I walked down the aisle.....I know that's not very good advice, but I think it would be better to know the truth than to live a lie and constantly be paranoid.
  • Honestly?  Better to find out now than later.  Or ask now rather than worry about something.  He shouldn't be calling or texting a girl in Vegas in the first place.  Like everyone else says, it's easier to cancel a wedding than get a divorce.  Although to be honest, it could always just be nothing.  
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  • You have to talk about it before you get married! You can't get married if you are afraid he has start a new relationship with someone (aka calling some other girl). It is worth making him a little mad and finding out the truth than getting married to him while he is interested in someone else. 

    Maybe just say I saw the phone bill was high, what's up with that? Then from there see what he says. If he is trying to hide something you will know. Just know that just because he is hiding something doesn't mean he is cheating. Stay calm and get to the bottom of it!

    hope everything works out
  • I'd confront his ass.
     
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You don't say where the friend that you haven't met lives, could the mysterious phone number be one that he shares with his girlfriend?

    It's perfectly normal to go over a bill that seems to be higher than usual. You could just ask him if he made those calls. He would ask you, wouldn't he? If there were mysterious charges on your credit card bill, you would ask to make sure the charges were legit, right? I'm concerned that you can't ask about the bills without risking a nasty argument. That is what is making me feel suspicious.

    If you really can't ask him, call the number to see who answers. Ask to speak to Fi to see what kind of reaction you get. Use a pay phone, if you don't want to be identified.

    When Fi gets home, look into premarital counseling. There's a trust issue, here, whether it's warranted or not. I hope your suspicions are unfounded, but it's better to find out now, if he is untrustworthy.

    Good luck.
                       
  • Well...I broke down and asked him when he called me to let me know his flight home was on time. He said it was a bookie (sp?) to make bets...I know he went to bet on the NCAA Final Four this weekend so it's believable. And I expressed a little of my concern to my future MIL and she said she has known all of the guys since they were born and they would never do anything to hurt anyone...they only think about poker and sports when in Vegas. So I guess I have to believe him...thanks for the advice ladies...I appreciate it!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I hope he wins some money : ) Glad it turned out to be a bookie.
                       
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