MOH Nightmare!

Hippinhipster

I was obviously thrilled to be getting married and couldn't wait to plan my wedding! I naturally ask my sister to be my MOH first thing when I got engaged 2 months ago but since then my wedding has turned into a nightmare! She has completely taken over and is trying to run everything! She somehow thinks I've put her in charge of planning my wedding... I've tried to tell her nicely and word things carefully as to not hurt her feelings and tell her I really don't want her help at all! My fiance and I really wanted to do everything ourselves seeing as how we're the ones paying for it... but I think if this goes on any longer I'm going to explode at her. The last thing I want to do is get in a huge fight with my sister but I don't know how else to tell her to back off... advice anyone?

sister2groom

If it's that bad, just be deaf to any wedding talk. "How's the wedding planning?" "Great. Cute outfit, how's work?"

If she continues to press you say something like "As you know FI and I are paying for the wedding and most of these decisions involve a signficant amount of money. I really don't think it's appropriate for me to discuss FI and my financial decisions with you, especially since I haven't had the opportunity to fully figure them out with him yet." Most people understand that the finances of the couple shouldn't be discussed too much outside of the couple, so maybe putting it in financial terms will help.

deepcovejackie

Stop sharing details of wedding planning with her.

SuMmErKuTiE

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-nightmare?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:57ef0c6e-ae11-4b7b-a2a1-17fd262c45cbPost:be1e2252-3922-484f-88d2-19021fde5afd">Re: MOH Nightmare!</a>:
[QUOTE]Stop sharing details of wedding planning with her.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

Ditto this! Plus it's not her wedding, so your decisions are the ones that count. Just tune her out and do what you want to do.

defstar82

and if you want to avoid a big fight, sit down and have a SERIOUS heart to heart talk. let her know that you appreciate the fact that she's trying to help you out and make things easier on you, but that YOU want to make all the wedding planning decisions, and let her know what she's still in charge of (shower, bachelorette party).

LoveMuffins

I would say something along the lines of, I really appreciate all the help that you've given us, but from here I'd like to do the planning, as this is my one and only chance to plan my wedding. I definitely value your opinion, and you've been wonderful, but I'm going to take it from here.

Keep it positive, grateful that she's put a lot of effort into it, and firm that now it's your turn to put effort into it.

And then stop telling her about any plans and make sure the vendors are calling you and not her.