Bridal shower - selling tickets?

Pixelmaid

I've never heard of this, but a couple people recently told me that at a jack and jill bridal shower you buy tickets.   I've always understood Jack and Jill showers to mean that men were invited.   What's the deal?  Is this something new? a local custom?  do you buy one ticket? many tickets?  I've got a shower coming up and want to understand the proper thing to do.

MairePoppy

The proper thing is to not sell tickets to a bridal shower.

What your friends are telling you about is a fundraiser type event. It is usually organized by the wedding party. The bms, gms, close family members sell tickets to the shower to their own acquaintances and other wedding guests. Close friends are expected to purchase a ticket, whether or not they will be attending. The $$ from the ticket sales are used as seed money to buy some food for the party, rental facilities and maybe a dj. The members of the wedding party are asked to donate prizes to be raffled at the party. If the prizes are items from the couples registry, there's a good chance that the winner is expected to turn the prize over to the couple. There are also 50/50 raffles, sometimes there is a roulette wheel or other games of chance. There might be a keg, from which cups of beer are sold to add to the profits. It's run as a sort of carnival. The money earned from the party is given to the bride and groom to help defray the cost of their wedding or honeymoon. Instead of gifts, guests are expected to show up with hard, cold cash.

These types of parties are not new. Probably the reason you have never heard of this before is that most people choose not to exploit their loved ones in this way.

bellabananas

For real?! This doesn't sound anything like a shower!? Is that what Jack and Jill showers are?

Pixelmaid

Thanks ladies, That was pretty much my reaction.  I'd be curious how others feel as well.
 
I would normally give a fairly generous cash gift unless the couple has a registry and then I'd buy a gift.  But if I have to buy tickets as well at the shower, it's going to affect the amount of the gift.  Is that how it's supposed to work?

Personally, I think you should plan your wedding and honeymoon according to YOUR budget, not beg others to support it this way.  I found this kind of odd/bordering on rude, but wanted to make sure I was not just out of touch. 

MairePoppy

Pixel, I would not  buy a ticket to this type of shower. The guests do not bring boxed gifts to the shower, they bring money to buy raffle tickets and whatever else is being sold.

Bella, some Jack and Jill showers are like traditional showers. Women and men are invited to shower the bride and groom with gifts. Those are fun and I think it's nice to include the men.

m tulli

I've only ever been invited to one.  I was pissed at the idea.  My husband was a groomsmen.  We were already driving 3 hours to the wedding, his tux, her bridal shower gift, wedding gift, then they wanted us to buy tickets and stuff to raffel too.  We ended up taking a stand and did not participate in that pre party.  It just felt like they were being greedy.  I don't understand making your wedding guest also fund your wedding.