Pre-wedding Parties

Shower for 100?!!

I am a BM in my friend's wedding. We are planning her shower. MOH has asked for assistance and ideas for favors and games. I asked her how many are being invited to the shower. Reply: 75-100

This stresses me out!! I was thinking more 40-50.

Has anyone planned a shower for this many?

Re: Shower for 100?!!

  • edited December 2011
    40-50 sounds way too huge as is. Is it males and females? Is everyone on the guest list invited? Was this a guest list from the bride or did the MOH pick it? It sounds very expensive....

    Here is some info though...

    1. Showers are normally females only
    2. Not every woman invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower
    3. If they are invited to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding
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  • edited December 2011
    WOW 100? Im doing a family on for 40-50 people and I thought that was big.  I would be concerned that I wouldn't be able to spend enough time with each guest.  I would ask her why so big?  The shower is only supposed to be for the bride's closest friends and family.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Even 40 sounds too big, not to mention horribly boring for just about everyone that attends.  I'd probably ask the host to reconsider the size of the guestlist.  Showers are for closest friends and family, not necessarily every single female invited to the wedding.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That's just way too many.  Who wants the 100?  If it's the bride, she doesn't get to determiine that.  If it's the MOH, she should have asked for input from everyone else who is hosting.

    IMO, the perfect shower is less than 25 guests.  A shower, in our circle, is a small intimate party for only closest friends and family.  As PP said, you don't have to invite, nor should you, every woman invited to the wedding.

    I'd get back to the MOH and tell her that this party is beyond your budget.  GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    I went to a shower with 85 and it was insane!  It was 5 hours long, super boring and to be honest she opened teh gifts very fast.  There is no reason to have that many guests!

    I agree with pp.

    Not everyone woman who is invited to the wedding NEEDS to be invited to the shower.  If you are invited to the shower you MUST be invited to the wedding.  
    Scale this sucker back.  
  • edited December 2011
    That's way too big!  I think 20-30 is probably better.  I'd speak to the MOH about the concerns raised by pp's on here.  It will be very boring to watch someone unwrap 100 gifts and ooh and aah over each one.
  • edited December 2011
    I completely agree! I was not consulted or even aware of the guest list until last week and I think the invites were done already. I'd prefer 3 showers over 1 for 100.
    I sent the MOH a message about having all the opened gifts displayed on the gift table. I also suggested, if bride preferred, she could open gifts as guests arrived. I haven't heard back from her.
    I am dreading the gift opening part at the end of the shower. Her baby shower was about 40-50 and it seemed like she was opening gifts for forever.
    Her wedding guest list is 200, so she must have invited every female on the guest list.
    I'm excited to help plan her shower but also not trying to overstep.
  • edited December 2011
    Agreed.  Was a BM last year for my soon-to-be SIL.  She made the guest list.  It was over 100 people.  None of the other BM would say anything to her about it, even though we all had an issue with it.  Only about 80 showed up, but that was way too many people.  She had to use a microphone to address her guests.  It took an hour to open all the presents.  It cost a fortune - $250/each plus gifts...and there were 6 BMs.  So yes, 100 people is too many.
  • edited December 2011
    PS - the guests were asked to bring their gifts unwrapped to speed up opening.  this did help, but still took forever.
  • aklattaklatt member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same type of situation. My FMIL's relatives and friends are planning my shower. They mailed out almost 50 invites and advertised it in a few local newspapers as an open house shower. It sounds like an insanely huge event and when she told me I should probably order 200 thank yous for the shower alone I about died. It's on Feb 20th, so we'll see how this turns out!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_shower-100?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5a27e52b-baef-4271-b0da-3adaceb85db2Post:f6c70227-802b-4aaf-80de-2052e87891e1">Re: Shower for 100?!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm in the same type of situation. My FMIL's relatives and friends are planning my shower. They mailed out almost 50 invites and advertised it in a few local newspapers as an open house shower. It sounds like an insanely huge event and when she told me I should probably order 200 thank yous for the shower alone I about died. It's on Feb 20th, so we'll see how this turns out!
    Posted by aklatt[/QUOTE]
    they took out an ad in the newspaper for people to come to your shower!?!
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