MOH and BMs want to have Bachelorette Party at my Place...

disturbedkitty

The MOH and BMs want to have the party at my place. I am a little uncomfortable with that idea because there is going to be alcohol, and one of the BMs has a tendency to overindulge and then puke. I reeeeeeally don't want to have to clean that up (or any post-bachelorette party messes, really). Is it normal for the party to be at the bride's place? Doesn't that make me kind of a host, since I need to clean up before and after the party? How should I approach this? I did tell my MOH I was a little worried that one of the BMs would get sick, but she said she would keep her from getting too drunk. Still...I am a little worried. Advice? Side note: some of the people at the party are going to be underage, so we can't just go bar hopping. Instead, my BMs wanted to have alcohol for those that aren't underage, so everyone can be together.

McKenna2012

I would be annoyed if my friends wanted it at my place and I didn't want it there.  Like you, I would feel like I was the hostess!  

disturbedkitty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-bms-want-bachelorette-party-place?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f03b163-4346-4415-b737-0bc448cc4588Post:907e295e-2575-460c-8cb8-67314bd986f7">Re: MOH and BMs want to have Bachelorette Party at my Place...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be annoyed if my friends wanted it at my place and I didn't want it there.  Like you, I would feel like I was the hostess!  
Posted by McKenna2012[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Yeah. I don't want to seem like a bridezilla and tell them no...They keep asking me what I want for my shower and I keep telling them to do whatever they want because they are hosting it. I didn't think that meant go to my place! I feel like they want me to take care of it. In their defense, two of the BMs live with their families and the other one is from OOT. Is there any way to politely suggest we do something else? </div>

McKenna2012

You might have to just tell them you aren't comfortable at your place b/c of the hosting thing.  Could you go to a restaurant or something?

McKenna2012

Retread, she said they want alcohol for those that AREN'T underage but to do it somewhere they can all be together.

kgorman307

I would tell them that you're getting married in four weeks and you have WAY too much going on to make sure your house is clean/clean up after any drunk BMs and the inevitable post-bachelorette mess.

But however you say it, definitely say no. This is supposed to be something nice they're throwing for you. It should not be an inconvenience or cause of stress.

disturbedkitty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-bms-want-bachelorette-party-place?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f03b163-4346-4415-b737-0bc448cc4588Post:61ef075d-27c2-477b-8b4b-dd0e9dc438aa">Re: MOH and BMs want to have Bachelorette Party at my Place...</a>:
[QUOTE]Your BM wanted to have alcohol for those who are underage? I hope that doesn't mean "so they can drink, too?" You can get into BIG trouble with the law for that. BIG trouble, even though it's a private party.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>No. Alcohol for those that are of age (no underage drinking). Sorry for the confusion. </div>

redheadtmk

If two do not live alone and one is out of town, it makes sense they would want it at  your house. I would just let them know how you are feeling and see if they are willing to do maintenance cleaning before the party ( i would not expect them to do a major cleaning) and all the cleaning afterward. If they are close enough to be  your wedding party, they should be close enough to you to  be honest with. Just let them know that you appreciate the thought and effort, you understand why your house is easiest, but you are apprehensive about becoming the host and having a mess to deal with on top of everything else. good luck!

disturbedkitty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-bms-want-bachelorette-party-place?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5f03b163-4346-4415-b737-0bc448cc4588Post:a090194a-7a58-432a-9874-1b499668b534">Re: MOH and BMs want to have Bachelorette Party at my Place...</a>:
[QUOTE]If two do not live alone and one is out of town, it makes sense they would want it at  your house. I would just let them know how you are feeling and see if they are willing to do maintenance cleaning before the party ( i would not expect them to do a major cleaning) and all the cleaning afterward. If they are close enough to be  your wedding party, they should be close enough to you to  be honest with. Just let them know that you appreciate the thought and effort, you understand why your house is easiest, but you are apprehensive about becoming the host and having a mess to deal with on top of everything else. good luck!
Posted by redheadtmk[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well I am probably going to make sure my apartment is clean anyway (some guests from OOT might stop by unannounced on the weekend, so it is probably a good idea). I just don't want to have to re-clean.  I think I will tell my BMs that it is fine for us to hang out at my place, but that I really don't want to have a big mess to clean up afterwords. Then they might be more willing to clean up after themselves. 

</div>

redheadtmk

That sounds like a good plan. If it is informal, using paper/plastic plates/cups/silverware would help ease the cleaning required. If they bring the food already prepared that would eliminate most of the mess that could be made in the kitchen. have fun!