Shower frustration

Ksahlberg

My sis/MOH is in charge of throwing the shower, I know she plans to throw one but she has not spoken to my other bridesmaids (FI’s sisters) or my MIL about anything and they are getting worried (wedding is 3 months away).  My MIL reached out to my my mom, but my mom basically said, “Thanks, but no thanks” which really rubbed my MIL the wrong way. My sis/mom don’t have jobs and my MOH has never been married (unlike my BMs) and my BMs are more than willing to help financially and really want to be involved in the process. I texted my sis w/their #s and told her to involve the other girls. She said “when the time is appropriate” she will contact the other BMs/MIL, but they all have kids/families and busy schedules.

I heard through the grapevine that my sis is planning something for Labor Day weekend and if that is so, my BMs will not be able to go! So I also told my sis that Labor Day is a busy time for most people, and she got really offended that I knew because she’s trying to make the shower a surprise, but I really don’t want this to be a surprise. I then hear she e-mails my BMs to keep every weekend in September open because she doesn’t know where/what or when it’ll be. I understand she doesn’t want me involved, but she has no experience doing this, etc. Should I just let it be? Ask her if she needs help? Provide a list of possible attendants? My BMs and MIL are now thinking my entire family is flighty/scatter-brained. Any way to repair this? I just don’t want any drama. I’ve been trying to be a relaxed/go-with-the-flow bride but family makes it difficult!

Ksk2012

WoW! I am sorry! So I think you need to gather some control of the situation now. I say you nicely but firmly email your MOH and tell her you would like the shower to be this weekend (insert date here) and at this location (insert location here). Then you explain that you would like her be in charge of the games and overall hosting of the event. Then you delegate responsibilities to your BMs as you and they see fit. Someone in charge of food, decorations, drinks, and such. Then you compile all that info in an email and send it off to your MOH, BMS, and Mom.

If you give them all a responsibility that is very specific it might work better. So your MOH still feel in charge, you are still surprised because all you know is the date and location but everything will be taken care of  and you can relax and you can enjoy. then you BM's will be happy too.

Now for your MIL, you can call her and apologize try to smooth things out and get her involved too. Maybe she can do the invitations and be in charge of the guest list.

I am my family's party planner and I find that party planning sometimes overwhelms people and they think they know what they are doing but they do not. But they do not know they do not know what they are doing until it is too late! Planning something Labor Day weekend is a poor idea to me.

Ksahlberg

Thanks gals, I Just e-mailed her a possible list of attendants hoping it may maker her life a little easier. Hopefully she gets it together, otherwise, oh well!