Trying to make things easy...

KaHoover

From the beginning of our engagement my fiance' and I have worked really hard to keep things simple and easy because we both are not gaudy people. His parents are divorced and both remarried, which makes things slightly difficult because they don't always see eye-to-eye. Which leads me to: his step-mom insist on hosting a "honey-do" shower for us, his mom has already planned a couples shower for us, and my sisters and a few of my bridesmaids have already planned a bridal shower for me. The mom and step-mom refuse to go in together and have one big couples shower, the step-mom says the "honey-do" is for the groom. I initially wanted one couples shower that way the groom is involved too. I say that they need to work together and make one shower for us and still have my bridal shower which is suitable for older aunts and grandmas that wouldn't attend a couples party, my fiance' being the peace keeper says just let them do as they please. Any suggestions?? I am really not liking the fact that I will have 3 showers!

LoveMuffins

Showers are a gift, so you kind of have to go along with what they want in this instance. I do think it's a little silly that they won't work together for the couples shower, but your FI is right, it's pretty much up to them. Just make sure that when they ask who you want to invite to the showers that you don't give everyone the same guest lists... no one wants to be invited to 3 showers.

KaHoover

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying hard to look at the bright side!!

hlq2011

Because my mom and stepmom can't coexist peacefully, I'm having two showers, one for each side of the family, back home and then a third where I live now, thrown by the bridesmaids.

Honestly, if they don't want to work together, it'd probably cause drama or awkwardness to try to get them to work together, so your best bet is, as PP said, to let it go.  And make sure that guests aren't duplicated.  I think some of the BMs will be invited to multiple showers as a courtesty (particularly my FSILs) but I'm making it clear to them that there's no expectation for them to make the trip.

Amivy06

What is a "honey-do" shower? I have never heard of them.

KaHoover

I always thought that a honey-do and a couples shower is the same thing, but I stood corrected when the SMIL informed me its a shower for the groom!!

vllbabe688

I understand your frustration...  FI's aunt & uncle who are throwing our couples shower initially wanted me to pick only 5-10 family members (out of my 60-person family) to invite to the shower, while FI's entire family HAD to be invited (even the people we don't like/don't like us).  Unfortunately, as much as it sucks that they're not focusing on what you guys want, you pretty much have to go with it since it's technically still a gift to you.  But at least you can cross your fingers that maybe you'll get triple the presents?