Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal dinner

My future mother-in-law tells me that EVERY out of town guest has to be at the rehearsal dinner. She tells me that this is tradition to do this. I don't want that. My feeling is that this is supose to be a small gathering for the bridal party and immediate family and that this is a chance for you to more personally thank everyone involved in making your special day even more special for you and your fiance. I have tried to explain to her that the only out of town people I want there are immediate family (aunts, uncles, cousins) even if they aren't in the wedding. I was going to extend an invitation to the rest of the out of towners to join us for cocktails after the dinner which I think is pretty nice. Please someone tell me that I'm not being unreasonable. I just don't want 100 people at the rehearsal dinner! If that's the case then why is my dad spending $$$ on a reception the next day.

Re: Rehearsal dinner

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Your FMIL is incorrect. The only people who HAVE to be invited are the people involved in the wedding and their SOs. It is also nice to include certain VIP family members. There is no reason for every OOT guest to have to be there. 

    Who is paying for the RD?  If she wants to pay for it and have all those people there, then that's on her, but it's ridiculous. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What Addie said. It all goes back to whomever is hosting. They get to decide the guest list.
  • edited February 2013
    Thank you! They are paying for the rehearsal dinner. I think they also need to keep in mind that this is mine and their sons day, not their's. I'm just trying to avoid having everybody who's coming to the wedding the next day at the rehearsal dinner the night before.
  • edited February 2013
    Hi @cande08 Yes, I agree with you, if not everyone can be present there  at your Wedding day and Reception, at least at the Pre-Wedding Dinner they can be there, its a good time to bonding with them. Share laughters. Best of Wishes to You ! Smile
  • If your In Laws are hosting, they technically have control of the guestlist.  But yes, technically rehearsal dinner is for wedding party, their SOs and immediate family.  Its a nice gesture to add OOT FAMILY (aunts/uncles/cousins) not in the wedding party, but not necessarily every OOT guest.  Our wedding is technically OOT for majority of our guests since pretty much everyone will travel an hour or more. Our rehearsal dinner will have OOT family, but if we have OOT friends (not in wedding party) already in town that night we will let them know that we will be at such and such after the rehearsal if they want to come by.   
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