Can't afford rehearsal dinner, HELP!

thefullertons

Fiances parents are divorced, and remarried to new spouses, neither set has offered/asked ab hosting rehearsal dinner. We don't want to ask anyone to do it, but can't afford to pay for everyone either since I just got laid off...my parents are paying for half the wedding, the other half is on us... We have some out of town guests and of course would like to get them, our parents, and WP together for dinner after rehersal, but is it tacky to get together for dinner and everyone pay their own? If not how do we explain that? Is it horrible to just not do it? Crap. wedding in 20 days, money we had set aside to pay for RD is now having to go towards bills If we got together it'd be like 27 people total...which is enough to need a separate room right? I really don't know what to do here...

roseofdeborah

Can you maybe do a potluck dinner? Get some people in your wedding party to help and just have a lot of people cooking and putting things together? I think it would be rude to ask them to come to a dinner and make them pay personally, but you also want that time to show them that you care. 

LauraChristin

A rehearsal dinner doesn't need to be fancy or at a restaurant but it does need to be hosted for the guests, meaning they don't pay for anything at it. Pizza or pasta with salad are generally very inexpensive options. You could host it at your home. The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to your bridal party so it is inappropriate for them to pay for their own thank you. 

ETA: If there is going to be a rehearsal, there needs to be a rehearsal dinner. OOT guests do not HAVE to be invited but wedding party and their dates should be. The only proper way to avoid a rehearsal dinner is to not have a rehearsal.

Also, if you're able to do a morning rehearsal you could host a brunch, breakfast or lunch which may be less expensive if you must go the restaurant route.

MairePoppy

Ditto Retread.
You could probably skip the rehearsal. Then you won't need an RD.

Otherwise, pizza is inexpensive and nearly everyone likes it. You don't have to have a fancy dinner.

thefullertons

Yea could def do pizza, our place is out, way too small, but thank you all for your input!!!!

Viczaesar

No, you cannot ask people to pay for their own rehearsal dinner.

mcskatcat

I would either just skip the rehearsal or find room in the budget for something really laidback. 

thefullertons

im thinking we may just order a bunch of pizzas..cant really skip the rehersal (thought i wish we could) bc we are using some of that time to decorate..BUT i think im gonna ask my brother if we could have pizzas and stuff at his house (also this will keep him from spending money on a gift (i don't mean to sound tacky but he is insisting on buying us something...he could let us use his home instead )
again, thank you ladies! so much!

babyhek33

Hi! Well we are in the same boat!
(Side note: I did not read all the above replies so sorry if this is a repost).

I do not know how formal your wedding is, ours is an in between level of formal and casual, but we are having a bbq, a fire, games, and drinks after our rehersal. We have asked that each couple bring something to share (One has meat, fruit, vegies, chips, etc.)

thefullertons

love that idea! so a cookout/potluck? very cool =]

im in fayetteville! you aren't too horribly far from me!
 its an outdoor wedding in a garden that a couple is letting us use =]

jerzmom114

We are paying for everything in our wedding ourselves also and money is tight because we have 3 children / a mortgage/and bills to pay! We decided instead to also have a small get- together at our house after the rehearsal , we ordered a few trays of food from Shoprite, my parents are getting some wine and beer, and Ipod music OP, you mentioned you are using the time to set up, would it be possible to get some trays of food ( or pot luck) and have it there? It would be fun to have some music playing and make the setting up and decorating into more of a "mini party".

librababy

I don't think a potluck idea is tacky at all. You are giving the BP gifts as ty's as well right, then there you go. Have a potluck, much better than having people pay for thier own food at a RD. 

ejheart

Not sure if you guys have On the Border up there but we used them to cater fajitas, chips/salsa, beans and rice for a birthday party at our house and I remember my mom saying it was incredibly affordable. Plus it was delish!