Bridal Shower Invitation List

kayti2

My aunt is getting married for the first time 2 days before her 50th birthday.  The wedding is going to be very small, only 40 close family members.  She won't be registering and she is not expecting gifts.  Should there be a shower?  If so, what do guests give her in lieu of gifts?  Also, who should be invited?  Should we stick to only family attending the wedding or open it up to family and friends that aren't invited to the wedding? 

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-invitation-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6d132d8e-6bcd-45d3-95cb-d231ac4b1b99Post:98d1e57d-48fb-4918-9a1a-c7c8a538e163">Bridal Shower Invitation List</a>:
[QUOTE]My aunt is getting married for the first time 2 days before her 50th birthday.  The wedding is going to be very small, only 40 close family members.  She won't be registering and she is not expecting gifts.  Should there be a shower?  If so, what do guests give her in lieu of gifts?  Also, who should be invited?  Should we stick to only family attending the wedding or open it up to family and friends that aren't invited to the wedding? 
Posted by kayti2[/QUOTE]

Since the purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, if she doesn't want gifts, she would likely decline a shower. If you or your family want to throw her a party anyway, ask her how she feels. One option, if she's not adverse to gifts, is to do a themed bridal shower. Martha Stewart has some ideas: <a href="http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228716/bridal-shower-themes/@center/272456/bridal-showers" rel="nofollow">http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228716/bridal-shower-themes/@center/272456/bridal-showers</a> (my favorite are the tea party and the library shower).<div>
</div><div>Also, if it's a shower or wedding-related at all, only invite her wedding guests! If it ends up that you throw a general party, you can invite other people, but then it can't be themed around her wedding.</div>

Summer2011Bride

If she has no registry, I would probably not throw a shower for her. Typically people who don't do registries are doing so as a subtle hint to guests that cash is appreciated (since it's rude to come out and say that), and if she wanted/needed physical gifts, she probably would have registered for them. There isn't anything you would give at a shower in place of gifts, as the purpose of a shower is to give gifts to the bride.

You could still throw a luncheon in her honor or something along those lines; just don't call it a shower.

ETA: Anyone invited to pre-wedding activities or parties MUST be invited to the wedding. So you will have to invite from the 40 guests she has invited to her wedding.

egm900

Usually I say if you didn't register then no shower, but considering it's her first wedding and her age, I think it would be okay to do a themed shower, like stock the bar or a spa shower.  I think most people are going to realize that they have what the want/need, and the lack of registry is because of this rather than they want money.  As PP said, another option if she doesn't want gifts is to have a luncheon or tea.