Rehearsal dinner or honeymoon?

sarahcallie

So I'm not sure what to do- my FI's parents are going through a bit of a tough time moneywise and aren't going to be able to afford to pay for the rehearsal dinner and send us on a honeymoon. My FI and I are both in school and work, so we could contribute to the honeymoon, but not much. I've told him that I would rather wait  a year and go on our dream honeymoon than go on just any honeymoon right after the wedding. My Mom is paying for the entire wedding, so I'm definitely not going to ask her for anymore.

Here's my question, do we need to have a rehearsal dinner? If it comes down to either a rehearsal dinner or honeymoon, I'd much rather go on a honeymoon. We've looked at trying to do something less expensive then the rehearsal dinner  we were thinking of doing, but we are really doing something pretty inexpensive already. To make it so we could do both, we'd have to cut out alcohol and that just wouldn't be okay for our group! Not sure what to do! Any advice? Sorry for the long post everyone!

ohyouhavemyheart

you dont really need a rehearsal dinner.. but its a nice gesture. you can always just have everyone come over for pizza or something it doesnt have to put a dent in your pocket at all. if you have to choose between those two - id choose the honeymoon. heck id buy mcdonalds for everyone lol!

SuMmErKuTiE

I would definitely choose the HM over the RD. I wouldn't trade in our HM experience for anything. It was so nice to get away after the wedding after all the stress and planning for the wedding. We were able to just enjoy being newlyweds in a beautiful place without a worry in the world.

But that said.. you do need to have a rehearsal before the wedding. Your wedding party needs to know what order they're in and when and where to walk.. stand.. etc. Also, you should provide them with dinner afterwards. This by all means does not mean an expensive restaurant. Our RD was in my aunt's backyard, and then we also ate there. My mom and my aunt made chicken, ribs, shrimp, various salads, etc.. you could even have a simple cook out or order in some pizzas. If anything, we really enjoyed the backyard thing over going to a restaurant because it was so much more relaxing which is what we needed the night before the wedding. HTH!

deepcovejackie

Your wedding isn't until next May, it looks like.  Maybe hold off deciding for now, things may change either way for you.  If most of your WP are free, you could have an early afternoon rehearsal and then have a tea and light snacks afterward.

All in all, I'd pick a honeymoon over a rehearsal dinner though.

mysticl

An RD doesn't have to be a big party.  Everyone I've went to was dinner, the handing out of the WP gifts, thanks from B&G and out the door.  If I had alcohol it was one glass of wine at the most. 

trix1223

If you have a rehearsal, you really need to provide some sort of dinner for those involved.  However:  it doesn't have to be big and fancy.  It can be a pan of lasagna and a salad served at your apartment.  It can be pizzas and beer in the back room of your favorite pizza place.

And you don't have to take a "dream" honeymoon.  You can take a mini-moon and save for a kick-butt first anniversary vacation.

I don't think it's at a question of "either-or".  You can do both, as long as you dial them both down.

quotequeen

If you have a rehearsal, you need to feed the participants and their SOs.

526SadieSadie

IMO, if YOU can't afford the honeymoon, you should wait until you can afford one and pay for it yourselves. 

stephdonjon

Choose the honeymoon. Hands down. Rehearsal dinners are nice, but not necessarily. You could even just go out to dinner informally the week of the wedding if you really want to. But I would much rather spend all that money on a trip than dinner.

kwelder1

In my neck of the woods, the soon to be newlyweds pay for their own honeymoon. Thats what we are doing. My parents are paying for the caterer and flowers (most expensive part of the wedding) and my future hubby's parents are paying for the tux rentals and rehearsal dinner. My groom and myself are footing the bill for the rest of the wedding. However, I guess it just depends on where you are from. If you do have a rehearsal dinner, it's a nice gesture to feed everyone involved, Especially if they are from out of town.

sweetpea6603

My FI's mom does not have much extra money to play around with, but wants to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Instead of a big formal dinner we are having pizza and sodas at our ceremony/reception location (they are at the same location). We will rehearse outside, move inside to eat, and then everyone who wants to stay will help decorate the reception hall. It will save us time and money and give us and our wedding party and family more time to relax the night before the big day!

crawford411

For my sister's rehearsal dinner, each of the mothers and grandmothers made an entree the day before, and a family friend baked them during the rehearsal and brought them to where the rehearsal dinner was being held.  We had the dinner at the clubhouse of one of the aunt's apartment complexes.   The whole thing was very family-oriented, the food was great, and it only cost each parent about $60 to make their entree.  They even did themes with each parent getting a different county of food to make.  It was lovely and extremely cost-effective!

mgietler76

My FI and I are paying for everything, and we cannot afford to go on a honeymoon, that said I would rather have the dinner to be able to thank my WP and spend some down-time relaxing before the big day, not to feed them at least something in my mind is rude. How expensive is this rehersal dinner anyways if it costs the same as a honeymoon?

christieep

You can do a rehearsal dinner for super cheap so many ways!  You can have a cookout at someone's house, you can just do pizzas and salad, I've even been to potluck RDs.  Having a rehearsal dinner is a nice way to relax the night before the wedding.  No one should expect anyone to bust their bank account for a RD.