Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal Dinner- issues

We are NOT having a wedding party. Great easy RD right. Well not exactly. MY FIs parents went through a messy messy divorce. The dad has been dating a woman for many years and has moved on. The mom hasn't and has nobody. She holds a serious bitter grudge and doesn't really know my parents. 

What should we do about our RD. 

Have everyone and sit uncomfortably well at dinner with the 3 sets of parents and us.

(PS 70% of our wedding list are out of state about 1 hour away- should we have them at the RD too since that is etiquette? and basically have two reception dinners?)

Re: Rehearsal Dinner- issues

  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you need to invite all the OOT guests, especially since they live only an hour away.  I would just have the RD for ceremony participants, parents, grandparents, and SOs.
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would keep it small too. Sounds like the parent situation could be awkward. I wouldn't do all OOT guests since they're in driving distance. What about siblings or aunts/uncles to add some more people?

  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    >>70% of our wedding list are out of state about 1 hour away- should we have them at the RD too since that is etiquette?

    That is not etiquette, nor tradition.  I've never been to an RD that has included OOTs, and I've never heard of that either.

    We didn't have any wedding party, so we didn't have a rehearsal.  But we did have dinner the night before, with FI's parents and my mom.  You could have a night-before dinner with your parents, FI's parents plus dad's SO, plus any siblings and grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins.
  • edited December 2011
    I would not invite the 70% of your guests that are only an hour away. While it is a nice gesture, this seems like it would just become, in a sense, a wedding reception. For this, I would invite the families (whether they like it or not, they are all family) and add some cousins, close friends (since you are not having a WP), aunts and uncles. This will add to your mix an dhopefully keep things less awkward. GL
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