Pre-wedding Parties

first apartment right after college, plus just engaged..... party?

i'm a senior in college right now and just got engaged in october. my FI and i have actually set a date for our wedding already, its 3 years away! (omg thats a long time) we;ve been together for almost 5 years and we're finishing up school anf paying for it so we wanted to wait a little while until we got married.  so we're moving into an apartment this summer for the first time it will be ours, not me just visiting him or living in the dorms.  all of our friends want us to have an engagement party and a couple have said that they would throw it for us. But my family does not apprive of the engagement and would rather give me a housewarming party, even though i'm not buying a house lol. 
should i have the engagement party? the housewarming party? both? both at the same time in one big party?

Re: first apartment right after college, plus just engaged..... party?

  • edited December 2011
    Congratulations on your engagement.

    Your post is a little unclear about who would be throwing parties for you.  You should not host a wedding-related party, such as an engagement party, for yourself.  You only get an engagement party if someone volunteers to throw one for you.  So if your friends want to throw you one, that's great.  But you shouldn't ask someone to throw a party for you, which seems to rule out your parents since they don't approve.

    So either accept your friends' offer to throw an engagement party for you or you can host a housewarming party yourself.  It doesn't have to be an actual house to have a housewarming party and I think one would be perfectly acceptable in your situation.
  • lmd9188lmd9188 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Yes my friends at school have offered to throw me an e-party and they have asked if it can be at my new apartment.  This way people will be able to see it for the first time and everyone can see where we will be living.  Also with graduation in May, having an e-party soon after will be rather hard on the pocketbook.  Also the actual wedding is still 3 years away so I don’t want to make a big fuss about getting engaged because people are going to be wondering when the wedding is and I can only imagine the looks from my very traditional extended Italian family. 

    My issue is that my parents want to throw me a house warming and my friends want to throw me an e-party.  Both would be at my place and the same people would be invited to both, and I assume the same gifts would be given.  I want to mix them into one but I don’t think my parents would approve and I think having 2 would be rather stupid LOL. 

    Also do I have to register for these things?

    I’m sooo new at this and sooo lost L


  • edited December 2011
    I would go with housewarming party.  Since you aren't supposed to throw your own engagement party, I think it would be a little awkard to have the e-party at your house, even if your friends are technically hosting it.  Most of your guests will probably also know about your engagement and congratulate you on it.

    As for registering, I think 3 years before the wedding is too early to be registering.  In your area do people typically give registry gifts for an engagement?  In my area, most people would just bring a bottle of wine or a fruit basket to a engagement/housewarming party.
  • lmd9188lmd9188 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    a couple of my friends have either just gotten married or engaged in the last year or so and they have all said that they registered for their e-party because if they hadn't they would have ended up with duplicates or things they wouldn't have picked out given the chance. 

    also a lot of people would be traveling from other parts of the state and have already asked me what i would like. 

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