Pre-wedding Parties

Bridesmaids from all over, where to have the bachelorette party?

I have 6 bridesmaids and by the time it becomes appropriate to have a bachelorette party, 4 of them will live out of state. I live in MIchigan. The four will be living in Massachusetts, California, New York and Indiana.

I am all about not making HUGE demands of my bridesmaids. So with that being said...

Does it make more sense to plan the party the night before the rehearsal dinner, in the town where I am having the wedding?

Pros: One round trip ticket, Just one extra hotel night, the town itself is pretty cool.
Cons: Being hung over 2 days before a weddng is not fun, I don't want to be too distracted or busy to enjoy it so soon before the wedding.

I'd appreciate anyone's advice!!

Re: Bridesmaids from all over, where to have the bachelorette party?

  • This may not be what you want but if you are going to have the party 2 nights before the wedding maybe make it more of a low key gathering where you won't be as tired and hungover. I totally understand wanting to go out, but I personally would not want a huge night out so close to my wedding. Or if you do have the bachelorette party weeks before just accept that not everyone will be able to come and you still may want to have a low key day with all of them when they get in town.
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  • Let your BMs worry about your B-party.  If they want to throw you one, they'll figure out what is most convenient for them.  If you want to have a girls' night out before your wedding, then I'd do it one or two nights before your wedding.  But a bach. party is really in honor of the bride, so it's side-eyed to plan your own.  It's fine to have girls' night out that you plan yourself, just leave out the bachelorette sash and be sure to pay your own way.  If your girls are asking where you'd like to have it, you can let them know what would work for you in terms of scheduling, etc.
  • I had almost an identical situation. I told my MOH what weekends I was available when she asked to host my bachelorette. 3 of the bridesmaids showed up, 2 weren't able to make it. It's not a big deal.

    Also, if I were flying in for a Saturday wedding, I definitely wouldn't be coming in until late Thursday (after work) or Friday anyways. So in your situation, you'd be asking someone like me to take an additional day of vacation from work just for your bachelorette. That's a bit extreme.

    If your bachelorette is on a Saturday, should the bridesmaids choose to come, they can fly in after work on Friday or early Saturday morning. No wasted vacation days!
  • The Bachelorette Party is planned by the bridesmaids, just like the groomsmen plan the Bachelor party.

    For my sister's wedding, because three of the five of us lived out of town, we did both the Bachelorette Party and the girls' day out in the same day. The Girls' Day Out is our version of the Bridesmaids Tea or Luncheon.

    We live in Colorado, so my sister took us girls up to Breckenridge for the day, and we hung out there - window shopping in downtown Breck, lunch at a fun pizza/burger place called Eric's (which my sister paid for as her thank-you to us), then we sat in the hot tubs at Grand Timber Lodge. Later that evening, for her Bachelorette Party, we took her to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner (her maid of honor and I paid for her dinner), then had a photo scavenger hunt at the mall. Fun times!
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