engagment parties, showers and the bachelorette party

catwine

My mother-in-law wants us to have an egagment party but my mom said it's a waste of time/money.  should we hsot our own or ask my mother-in-law if she wants to host it?

My mom and her best friend want to throw me a shower but i thought the MOH did that. Can i have more than one shower?

I know my MOH and BM's are supposed to plan my bachelorette party but is it okay to do the last one myself?

mag2311

We just had our engagement party this past weekend - future father-in-law hosted it for us. You should has your mother-in-law, there is no harm in asking and considering she wants it.. For us, we both come from divorce families so it was good to get everyone in one place prior to the big day. Not to mention we had a freaking blast.

I wouldn't over do it with the shower, they should work together on it.

I think you can plan your own bachelorette, there is nothing wrong with that in my book. 

CassieeK

You shouldn't host your own engagement party.  If your MIL offers to throw one, great, but don't ask her to do it.  You said she wants one, so it sounds like she will offer.

You can have more than one shower; the MOH is not obligated to throw any parties for you.  In some circles, it is considered inappropriate for the MOB to throw a shower, but I think it is becoming more common for them to do do.

You should not plan your own bachelorette party, and no one is "supposed" to plan one for you.  Parties are gifts....nice if they are offered, but not required. 

catwine

If i did plan my own bachelorette party it wouldn't be to celebrate my "last days of freedom", it would be one last hurrah with my best friends before we all move forward with our lives.

Bthor

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagment-parties-showers-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:77ab0af8-da93-426e-a4c6-37eb01963783Post:6111a8cf-ff81-4dba-a970-80c85fe08771">Re: engagment parties, showers and the bachelorette party</a>:
[QUOTE]We just had our engagement party this past weekend - future father-in-law hosted it for us. You should has your mother-in-law, there is no harm in asking and considering she wants it.. For us, we both come from divorce families so it was good to get everyone in one place prior to the big day. Not to mention we had a freaking blast. I wouldn't over do it with the shower, they should work together on it. I think you can plan your own bachelorette, there is nothing wrong with that in my book. 
Posted by mag2311[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is bad advice.</div><div>
</div><div>If someone throws a party for you accept it or decline it. You do not ask anyone to throw any parties for you, nor do you throw your own pre wedding parties. </div>

ahampton27

Do not ask your MIL to throw you an engagment party. If she brings it up again, just let her know that you don't know if anyone is going to throw one for you. If she really thinks and wants you to have an engagement party, she will take it upon herself to throw you one. There is not rule where you have to have an engagment party.

If your mom and her friend want to throw you a shower, GREAT! You have the choice to accept it or decline it. Like PP's have said, the MOH does not have to throw you any parties. It isn't uncommon for the MOH and bp to throw you a shower, but it is certainly not required. And it is acceptable to have more than one shower. Just be sure you are not inviting the same people to every shower.

DO NOT, I repeat, do not throw your own bachelorette party. Again, if someone offers to throw it for you, great, otherwise you don't get one. It comes off as rude to throw a party (and ask for gifts) for yourself.  You have a year before the wedding, so it's probably a little early for the plans to start for any showers and the bachelorette.

Enjoy your planning!